I liked Lucky McKee’s first theatrical release film, May, and I liked his Masters of Horror episode, Sick Girl. His second film, The Woods, is nowhere near as inventive as these other two, and there is no Angela Bettis to liven or weird things up (well, okay, she does the voice of the creepy woods.). The Woods is much like if you blended Suspiria, Satan’s School for Girls, Acacia, the weird tree monsters from Evil Dead, and threw in a psychic teenager for garnish. It’s not bad, but it’s not great either.
Agnes Bruckner is Heather, a girl who is shipped off to boarding school out in the middle of nowhere because she can’t get along with her mother. She doesn’t like the place, naturally, with the creepy teachers and headmistress (Patricia Clarkson) pulling her out of class for weird psychic tests and the school bully calling her “Fire crotch.” After awhile, she realizes something weird is going on, something more ominous than a school bully, when all of the girls who pass the “gifted” test end up turning into a pile of leaves. You know what is going on; there are no surprises there.
Agnes Bruckner is an wonderful actress, as is Patricia Clarkson. They do well with the occasionally cardboard script. Bruce Campbell plays Heather’s dad; I only wish there had been more of him. Rachel Nichols was good as the bully, with just enough of that teenage girl evilness to make her believable.
I wish there had been more atmosphere and more tension overall. The woods were supposed to be creepy, but they ended up just looking like trees in the breeze. The CGI was laughable, but the effects at the end were creepy enough to remind me of a book I read when I was younger that still creeps me the heck out now. (The Plant People by Dale Bick Carlson. There are images in that book that I still can’t get out of my head.) Maybe that is why I am disappointed in this movie. It could have been extra scary, but instead it was lackluster. I can see why it was sent straight to video.
Rating: 3 Purrs, but only because of Patricia Clarkson and The Plant People
About Me
- Media Kitten
- I'm just your normal 30-something that is pretty much obsessed with horror movies, reading as much as humanly possible, and painting and drawing as much as I can squeeze in between working my day job. I really like stories about the end of the world, but don't hold it against me. I love watching hockey. Sushi is super delicious. I am on a mission to watch as much Murder, She Wrote and Matlock as it takes so that my DVR thinks I am an old woman and starts recording Golden Girls. I'll watch movies of any kind, but I still can't figure out why Woody Allen still gets to make them. I'm not even that picky about what I read, but I am picky about what ends up in my library permanently. Oh, and I have a Mini Countryman with a Muppet fetish. His name is Gonzo. Say Hi Gonzo.
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