Never has a movie been so aptly named. Shoot’em Up is pretty much that – a shoot’em up game brought to the big screen. It’s really a very silly movie – I don’t know how they got Clive Owen and Monica Belluci to sign on for this flick.
One night, a down-on-his luck looking guy (Clive Owen) is just minding his own business when a very pregnant lady comes running by, followed by a guy with a gun very intent on whacking her. Cue the homeless looking guy ending up kicking ass and helping deliver the baby, but unfortunately, now he’s stuck with it and is on the run from the baddies. Luckily, he knows a lactating hooker (Monica Belluci), and soon they are all on the run. Why do these bad guys want the baby dead? What do heavy metal music, a gun factory, and politics have to do with it all?
Really, this movie is quite ridiculous. It feels very comic book and video game-ish, but not in a good way. It was better than Crank, by far, but just a tad too silly for my tastes. But since I love Clive Owen and Monica Belluci, I had to rent it. It was funny and it was bad. Sometimes that is a good combination but other times, it’s just plain not.
Rating: 3 Purrs, cause I just can’t give a hiss to a movie with Clive Owen and a lactating hooker called DQ (who ends up working at a sort of Dairy Queen) in it
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