Friday, January 30, 2009

Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry

I picked up Lonesome Dove because a friend told me that it was his favorite book. I don't meet many people who love to read, so when someone tells me that a book is his favorite, and he is able to defend it when I respond, "Seriously? A Cowboy book?", I figure I really should give it a shot. I stand corrected. Lonesome Dove is much more than just a cowboy book.

Lonesome Dove is about a cattle drive and the people who participate in it or are affected in some way by it. You have my favorite character, Augustus McCrae, former Texas Ranger and current easy-going drunkard, who follows Woodrow Call, his former Captian and best friend, on the drive up to Montana. Jake Spoon shows up in Lonesome Dove, TX one day and tells his former Texas Ranger pals that the real paradise is Montana. The undiscovered, ungrazed country, so to speak. Call decides it's an opportunity not to be missed, and hires a bunch of local boys to drive a huge herd of cattle up to Montana to start one of the first cattle ranches before the wilderness is lost. He misses the urgency, the spectacle, the danger of his former days in the Texas Rangers. (Many times Gus & Call discuss the comfort of the area they have helped civilize, with Gus wondering why anyone would need to leave it.) Jake, however, has his own problems, and never really intends on joining the boys on the drive. Jake is a man of appetities, of luxuries, gambling, and using up women. When he meets Lorena, he thinks he's got it made, until she holds him to his promise to get her out of Lonesome Dove. (Lorena is another one of my favorite characters. I didn't like her much at first, but her character really grew on me. You start off thinking she will just be the hooker with the heart of gold type character, but instead she ends up being so much more complex.) Lorena joins them on the drive, along with lovesick Dish, the top hand, Newt, the youngest of the crew, and others. They face the difficult, long drive to Montana, driving the cattle across rivers, on the look out for Indians, protecting their horses and their own skin, and battling the weather.

What I liked most about this book was from the moment I started reading, I knew I was in Texas. You could almost feel the swagger, the hitching of belt buckles, the chewing of tobacco. Gus is a wonderful character, on the one hand so easy-going, and on the other, so cruel and exacting when rescuing Lorena. Lorena's whole storyline tore me up. Her grief was almost too close to home. I could see it in my head so vividly. But what I loved the most was despite the epic scale of the cattle drive, the growth of the characters, even the interplay of all of the characters, McMurtry never says this is epic. This is historic. This is significant. In fact, he leads you to question whether the whole thing is simply folly, an old man catering to his needs of danger, heroism, and valor, and whether the cost of it is too great. It's mythic and tragic all in one. You are left to question whether any of it really made any difference, even at the cost of so many and so much.

When you think of Lonesome Dove, don't think cowboy book. Yes, it is a Western. You can't deny that. But it can be so much more if you look beyond the cover.

Rating: 4 1/2 Purrs

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Beast Within

"He Was On The Verge Of Becoming A Man... Eater!"

I really love The Beast Within. It's such an early 80's horror flick with balloon make-up, gratuitous rape scenes, over-the-top backwoods characters, and a big old beastie.

Bibi Besch and  Ronny Cox are on their honeymoon when their car goes off the road. Ronny goes out to find some help and Bibi leaves the car to chase the dog. There she meets the beastie, who beats her up and rapes her. Flash forward 17 years and Ronny's and Bibi's son, Michael, is sick. The doctors don't know what's up, so Ronny & Bibi have to go back to the small Louisiana town where the elephant in the room happened to see if they can find out Mike's biological father's medical history. Mike follows them, and that's where the real fun begins, because he starts going a bit nuts, hearing cicadas, and having some serious cravings for meat - the bloodier the better. What's going on with Mike? What is he turning into?

Seriously, it's a bit silly, but what big beastie movie from the 80's isn't? I watched this once before a year or so ago and liked it then, but I think I liked it even better this time around. The make-up is appropriately cheesy, the teeth are bad, and Bibi Besch's wardrobe is almost as good as Faye Dunaway's in The Eyes of Laura Mars. You even have John Dennis Johnston as the dad of Mike's new love interest, playing the part with some serious creepiness. You can't tell if he is just over-protective or just inappropriately involved with his daughter. He does, however, favor a shot gun and wife beaters. Ah, the South. Now I know my dad was a bit overprotective when I started to date, and even joked about bringing a shotgun to the door when the guys would pick me up, but never did he do so drunk and wearing a wife-beater. You can make this out to be a tale of sexual awakening or going through puberty and all that, but why bother? It's fun on its own without looking for any deeper meaning.

Rating: 3 1/2 purrs for the awesomeness that is the big beastie. It's like Kaftka!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Darkwolf

Holy cow, you don't get much worse than Darkwolf. Well, maybe you do. I have seen a lot of horror movies. But with Stephen Williams (X-Files' Mr. X) and Tippi Hedren, I thought maybe this would be a bit higher caliber than what it turned out to be. Instead, I got a movie version of that old Showtime series, The Hunger. (Remember that? No? Well, okay...think adult situations, poor acting, really bad dialog, and a bit of blood thrown in.)

Long story short, Josie (Samaire Armstrong, the oh so adorable geek hipster from The O.C. and a the X-Files episode The Lord of the Flies, oh yeah, and Stay Alive, one of my favorite guilty pleasures) is just a waitress with big dreams. What she soon finds out is she isn't just a med student to be. She's actual the last of some werewolf line that the big baddie wants to mate with. After Tippi Hedren bites it, Josie is left under the protection of Officer Steve, who happens to know a whole heck of a lot of werewolf history. Convenient.

The werewolf effects are so bad I almost laughed out loud. On one hand, it looks like a really bad computer game from maybe 10 years ago, in other shots, it looks like a guy wearing a bearskin rug crawling around towards the camera. The dialog for this is so bad that I don't know if better actors could have made it any better, but I doubt it. Just copy & paste from the cliche handbook and you have it taken care of. Girl and cop share a tender moment after she freaks. Check. I know my rights. Yep, that one too. What's happening to me? Got it. Oh yeah, don't forget to add an opening set in possibly the unsexiest strip club ever shown on film and mid-way a ri-god-damn-diculous girls dressed up in a naked werewolves photo shoot with two females with no chemistry what-so-ever, and you have yourself Darkwolf

Do yourself a favor and spend your two hours watching something more worthwhile. Like, I don't know, Underworld (famous people LARPing!) which at least had Kate Beckinsale in it, The Monster Squad which I remember fondly from my younger years, Ginger Snaps, Waxwork (go Deborah Foreman!), heck, even that old TV show She-Wolf of London would be better than this

Rating: I can't even begin...I am at a loss

Friday, January 16, 2009

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Wuthering Heights is one of those books that has sat on my shelf for years. It's not that didn't want to read it; I always wanted to but just never seemed to get around to it. After reading it, I'm not sure what all of the fuss is about. Maybe I do, but overall, the book just left me kind of angry.

Cathy and Heathcliff grow up together and of course fall in love. But since Cathy has no redeemable qualities whatsoever, and neither does Heathcliff really, of course they don't end up happily ever after. Cathy marries rich, and since Heathcliff overhears her say it's because she can't marry him because it would be beneath her, he decides to seek revenge on Cathy and those who have slighted him. This revenge drive the rest of the book, and he seeks it even unto his and Cathy's own children.

I don't know why anyone would ever read about Cathy And Heathcliff and think man, those two are some of the most romantic characters in literature. Frankly, they are nightmares and deserve each other, if only they could not destroy everyone else in their path. They may talk how one completes the other, that Cathy *is* Heathcliff or whatever, but really, neither character understands one little whit about love. I can kind of see why Stephenie Meyer says Wuthering Heights influenced the Twilight series, because I see a whole lot of Heathcliff and Cathy in Edward and Bella. That's not really a good thing.

I do, however, find it very interesting that Emily Bronte would put two unlikable characters as main characters in her story, considering Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre has such an agreeable main character in Jane. It sort of makes Emily a bit balls-y in my thoughts. You know, like I *dare* you to like my story.

Rating: 3 1/2 Purrs for a couple of characters that pissed me the hell off, but yet also Go Emily!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Mirrors

"Mirrors are just glass and silver, Ben. That's it. There's nothing behind them. "

Alexandre Aja has finally made me spooked to look in a mirror. He's finished what Poltergeist,  Clive Barker, and Candyman started. This movie made me jump. Repeatedly. Pandabob found much amusement in it when from the other room, he heard me jump and squeak. In fact, the creepiness in Mirrors made me wish that maybe Aja had filmed Mother of Tears

Mirrors is about an ex-cop, Ben Carson (Kiefer Sutherland), who is moonlighting as a security guard at an old burned out department store. The guy he replaced commits suicide, and when Ben finds out, he investigates, especially when he starts seeing things in the mirrors at the store that shouldn't, couldn't be there. Who or what is in the mirrors? Is he just going nuts or are he and his family really in danger?

It was gory. Amy Smart's bathtub scene, which you see part of in the trailer, is absolutely skin crawling. Ugh, and yet awesome. It was spooky. What wouldn't be with a huge, dilapidated,  burned out department store as a main setting? I was torn with the desire to explore the place and yet, also to maybe just stay away because the place kind of freaked me the frak out. The whole idea of evil, haunted mirrors is just way cool in my book. The plot got a little wonky there in the end, but I still couldn't help but love it. 

I didn't realize when I rented this that Mirrors is a remake of a South Korean horror film called Geoul sokeuro (Into the Mirror). Now I have another Asian horror film to add to my NetFlix queue. 

Rating: 4 Purrs. I can see that Kiefer's got a bit on the heavy-handed with the acting here and the plot does deviate into a convenient solution, but not nearly as badly as Aja's first film High Tension (which was also awesome until the end got all well, you know.)

Monday, January 12, 2009

D Wars: Dragon Wars

"I keep trying to understand, but none of this is making any sense." - Sarah

Trust me, Sarah, we don't understand it either.  I watched D-War on my Roku box, so I can't really say it cost me anything but an hour and a half of my life. Trust me, this was an expensive 90 minutes. I think Pandabob compared this to something that a 12 year old might write, but then I reminded him of another dragon movie we watched ages ago called Eragon that was based off of a book a  12 year old (or was it 14? anyway) wrote. And it was better. (Not good by any means, but better than this movie. ) 

Legend has it that once upon a time there were some dragons. (Yea! Dragons! Everyone loves dragons right?) There are some good dragons and some bad dragons. And there was this girl and boy who fell in love, but the girl was supposed to be sacrificed to the good dragon to save the world. But the guy and girl died instead, thus, their souls were reborn in modern day Los Angeles, where the dragons come back, and they want the girl to be sacrificed because she has some shining light thing inside her and a dragon birthmark. I know, it makes no sense to me either, and I watched the movie. 

I love Jason Behr. I've always thought he should get more work than he does, but this movie, well, seriously, what the frak? And where the hell did the evil fortress come from? And what is Skeletor doing in this movie? This was so bad I couldn't stop watching, like a car wreck on the highway. A big one. Think the car wreck in Final Destination 2, which you should watch instead of this movie. And holy shit, our hero just lit up like the power of Grayskull. I have changed my mind. This is an awesome movie. Plus, it's dragon smackdown time. 

My real question out of all of this is...what are Tan Tans and machine guns doing in 15th century Korea?

Rating: Hiss Hiss Hiss. This was just bad. So very, very bad. 

Friday, January 09, 2009

X-Files I Want to Believe

I can't believe that I missed X-Files in the theaters this summer, but somehow I did. It even was released right near my birthday for crisssakes. Geez. Well, I soon remedied that by watching it as soon as I could get my grubby hands on the DVD release.

It. was. awesome.

Remember Star Trek: First Contact? It felt like a longer version of the TV show, but with uber-budget right? (It did to me anyway.) But then you saw Star Trek: Insurrection and you just cried a little inside? Well, X-Files I want to Believe was like the first - but without the overarching mythology banging you on the head. It reminded me so much of the Season 3 episode, Grotesque, hands-down one of my favorites, that I couldn't help but love it. Plus, I'm a shipper, so the little bits of relationship stuff mixed in there between Mulder and Scully just made me squee with happiness. (Literally, Pandabob could hear me in the other room. Squeeing. The beard thing, I couldn't help it. I clapped.)

My one complaint - it took forever to bring in Skinner. I love Skinner.

The plot in brief is this: Scully gets an unexpected visit from an FBI guy - they need Mulder's help. All is forgiven. They have this psychic, and for some reason the FBI wants Mulder to come in and verify what he is saying is true. And FBI agent's life is on the line; she's missing and it looks like there's a serial killer on the loose. So of course, Mulder and Scully some in to save the day. It gets dark; it gets creepy; it gets gross; Scully gets sassy. (Yes. I know. It was AWESOME.)

I don't want to say anymore than that because I don't want to spoil too much. Long story short (too late!), if you liked the show you'll love the movie. Unless you were one of those who never wanted Mulder & Scully to get together; in that case, stay away. Also stay for the credits. On the DVD they have candids of the cast & crew throughout.

Rating: 5 stars. Lets' see: the beard thing won me over. The grossness was spot on. What did this make me do? It made me want to pull out my DVDs and start watching from Season 1 on again, because I want the show back so much. I've loved a lot of TV in my time, but X-Files had me at Hello and I just never stopped loving it, even the last season.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Closing out the year...

I never did finish up all of my reviews from the movies and books I watched last year, and instead of writing them all out I'm just going to go with the abbreviated version.

On Writing by Stephen King was one of my favorite books that I read last year. I loved the insight into his process, and you can tell that Mr. King really, truly enjoys what he does for a living. Not only that, but he is very honest about his history, his addiction, and the inspiration he finds for his stories. Inspiring, funny, and just another great example of why I love to read his books so much.

The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey was a fun little mystery where a detective investigates the Richard III murders, believing that the face of Richard III isn't the face of a murder.

If I Am Missing or Dead by Janine Lutz is the true story of two sisters who end up in abusive relationships after a lifetime of difficult (to put it lightly) parenting by a disturbing father. One sister doesn't survive. It's depressing, it's scary as hell, but it's worth a read.

Pathology staring everyone's favorite Hero, Milo Ventimiglia, and the beautiful Laurel Holloman, (now on CSI and previously sexy L Word chef). A group of pathologists in training play "let's see who can commit the most disturbing and unsolvable murder" a la Flatliners. Lots of sex, lots of violence, kind of silly but I still liked it quite a bit.

Vault of Horror is one of those anthology horror movies. Five men end up in the basement vault of a building, brought together to tell tales. One is about vampires, another about dismemberment, magic rope, scams, and deadly paintings. This one stars Tom Baker of Doctor Who scarfdom.

The Shuttered Room stars Carol Lynley as a woman returning to the island she used to call home with her much older husband (woefully miscast Gig Young - talk about unbelievable). Come to find out, the island home of her youth is haunted by something naughty in the woodshed. This was better than I expected, much due to Oliver Reed playing the evil, inbred hooligan that is enamored with Carol Lynley's character.

And now I am free to fall behind in my 2009 books and movies.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Comics Read in 2008

Here's a list of comics I read this year. 
  • Friday the 13th: The Bad Lands
  • Mouse Guard: Belly of the Beast
  • Mouse Guard: Shadows Within
  • Mouse Guard: Rise of the Axe
  • Mouse Guard: The Dark Ghost
  • Mouse Guard: Midnight's Dawn
  • Mouse Guard: A Return to Honor
  • Buffy Season 8: No Future for You
  • Buffy Season 8: Anywhere But Here
  • Buffy Season 8: A Beautiful Sunset
  • Buffy Season 8: Wolves at the Gate
  • 30 Days of Night
  • 28 Days Later: the Aftermath
  • Gloom Cookie: The Final Curtain
  • Glacial Period
  • Capote in Kansas
  • The Museum Vaults: Excerpts from the Journal of an Expert
  • Nightmares & Fairy Tales: The Beautiful Beasts
  • Powers
  • Buckaroo Banzai: Return of the Screw
  • PARA
  • Dominion Vol 1-5
  • Fables: Wolves
  • Fables: Sons of Empire
  • Fables: 1001 Nights of Snowfall
  • Fables: The Good Prince
  • Serenity: Those Left Behind
  • Y: The Last Man: Unmanned
  • Y: The Last Man: Cycles
  • Y: The Last Man: One Small Step
  • Y: The Last Man: Safeword
  • Y: The Last Man: Ring of Truth
  • Y: The Last Man: Girl on Girl
  • Y: The Last Man: Paper Dolls
  • Y: The Last Man: Kimono Dragons
  • Y: The Last Man: Motherland
  • Y: The Last Man: Whys & Wherefores
  • Serenity: Better Days
  • Batman: The Killing Joke
  • X-Isle
  • The Lost Boys: The Reign of Frogs
  • The Dark Tower: The Long Road Home
  • Death Valley
  • Doctor Who Classics: Volumes 2-6
  • Doctor Who Vol 1-6
  • Helen Killer Vol 1-4

Books Read in 2008: All 89 of Them

I was hoping to read 100 this year, but I got lazy again. 

Fiction: General
  • Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl
  • On the Road by Jack Kerouac
  • Fluke: or I know Why the Winged Whale Sings by Christopher Moore
  • Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore
  • You Suck! by Christopher Moore
  • The Rules of Attraction by Bret Easton Ellis
  • The Keep by Jennifer Egan
  • Last Night at the Lobster by Stewart O'Nan
  • The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
  • Saturday by Ian McEwan
  • The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood
  • The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moer
  • Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut
Fiction: Mystery & Suspense
  • Death in Holy Order by P.D. James
  • The Murder Room by P.D. James
  • Innocent Blood by P.D. James
  • Jane & The Man of the Cloth by Stephanie Barron
  • Jane & the Wandering Eye by Stephanie Barron
  • Thursday Next: First Among Sequels by Jasper Fforde
  • Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
  • Grotesque by Natsuo Kirino
  • Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
  • Living DeItalicad in Dallas by Charlaine Harris
  • Club Dead by Charlaine Harris
  • Dead to the World by Charlaine Harris
  • Dead as a Doornail by Charlaine Harris
  • Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris
  • All Together Dead by Charlaine Harris
  • From Dead to Worse by Charlaine Harris
  • Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris
  • Bare Bones by Kathy Reichs
  • Three Bags Full by Leonie Swann
  • Dexter in the Dark by Jeff Lindsay
  • Ghostwalk by Rebecca Stott
  • Thriller edited by James Patterson
  • The Secret Adversary by Agatha Christie
  • The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie
  • The Boomerang Clue by Agatha Christie
  • Death Comes as the End by Agatha Christie
  • The Moving Finger by Agatha Christie
  • An Incomplete Revenge by Jacqueline Winspear
  • Obedience by Will Lavender
  • The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey
  • Killer on the Road by James Ellroy
  • HeartSick by Chelsea Cain
Fiction: Horror, Sci Fi, Fantasy
  • The Terror by Dan Simmons
  • World War ZItalic: an Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks
  • The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham
  • The Cabinet of Curiosities by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child
  • ItalicThe Ruins by Scott Smith
  • Duma Key by Stephen King
  • The Children of Men by P.D. James
  • Dispatch by Bentley Little
  • ItalicThe Mummy or Ramses the Damned by Anne Rice
  • Sunshine by Robin McKinley
  • Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison
  • The Good, The Bad, and the Undead by Kim Harrison
  • Every Which Way by Dead by Kim Harrison
  • Water: Tales of Elemental Spirits by Robin McKinley & Peter Dickinson

Fiction: Junk
  • The Murder List by Julie Garwood
  • All Night Long by Jayne Anne Krentz
  • TItaliche Dead Room by Heather Graham
  • Killer Dreams by Iris Johansen
  • Cover of Night by Linda Howard
  • Prior Bad Acts by Tami Hoag
  • The Third Wife by Jasmine Cresswell
  • Shadow Dance by Julie Garwood
  • Dead on the Dance Floor by Heather Graham
  • Pandora's Daughter by Iris Johansen
  • Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
  • New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
  • Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
  • Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
  • No Escape by Heather Lowell
  • The Night of the Blackbird by Heather Graham
  • Hurricane Bay by Heather Graham
  • The Seance by Heather Graham
Non-Fiction
  • Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
  • The Executioner Always Chops Twice: Ghastly Blunders on the Scaffold by Geoffrey Abbot
  • Does this Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? by Peter Walsh
  • Stiff: The Curious Lives of Cadavers by Mary Roach
  • Secret Lives of the First Ladies: What Your Teachers Never Told You About the Women of the White House by Cromac O'Brien
  • Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser
  • The Dead Travel Fast: Vampires from Nosferatu to Count Chocula by Eric Nuzum
  • The Maul and the Pear Tree by P.D. James and T. A. Critchley
  • On Writing by Stephen King
  • A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson
  • The City of Falling Angels by John Berendt
  • Getting Things Done: Guide to Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen