D Wars: Dragon Wars

"I keep trying to understand, but none of this is making any sense." - Sarah

Trust me, Sarah, we don't understand it either.  I watched D-War on my Roku box, so I can't really say it cost me anything but an hour and a half of my life. Trust me, this was an expensive 90 minutes. I think Pandabob compared this to something that a 12 year old might write, but then I reminded him of another dragon movie we watched ages ago called Eragon that was based off of a book a  12 year old (or was it 14? anyway) wrote. And it was better. (Not good by any means, but better than this movie. ) 

Legend has it that once upon a time there were some dragons. (Yea! Dragons! Everyone loves dragons right?) There are some good dragons and some bad dragons. And there was this girl and boy who fell in love, but the girl was supposed to be sacrificed to the good dragon to save the world. But the guy and girl died instead, thus, their souls were reborn in modern day Los Angeles, where the dragons come back, and they want the girl to be sacrificed because she has some shining light thing inside her and a dragon birthmark. I know, it makes no sense to me either, and I watched the movie. 

I love Jason Behr. I've always thought he should get more work than he does, but this movie, well, seriously, what the frak? And where the hell did the evil fortress come from? And what is Skeletor doing in this movie? This was so bad I couldn't stop watching, like a car wreck on the highway. A big one. Think the car wreck in Final Destination 2, which you should watch instead of this movie. And holy shit, our hero just lit up like the power of Grayskull. I have changed my mind. This is an awesome movie. Plus, it's dragon smackdown time. 

My real question out of all of this is...what are Tan Tans and machine guns doing in 15th century Korea?

Rating: Hiss Hiss Hiss. This was just bad. So very, very bad.