Dead and Breakfast

Dead and Breakfast is a horror comedy in the vein of the Evil Dead series, Feast, Night of the Creeps, Shaun of the Dead, and Slither. I had pretty low expectations going in, but I was pleasantly surprised with how good and silly it was.

Dead and Breakfast has a bunch of college kids in a Winnebago traveling through Texas on their way to a wedding. They stop overnight in Lovelock, TX and end up in David Carradine’s bed & breakfast. He of course oozes Kung-Fu greatness just by standing there being the proprietor in his few scenes. Unfortunately, it’s also the night something escapes and causes the entire town to turn into zombies, and even David Carradine, Kung Fu master, can't save the day.

What did I really like about this movie? Throughout the opening credits and interspersed in the film are comic panels that help move the story along. I really liked the style used in the panels; it added an element of style to the film. I don’t expect a zombie comedy to have too much of a plot or character development to be funny. Dead & Breakfast has the required fake blood spurts; in fact the chainsaw scene is just priceless. You don’t really care about any of the characters. They are nowhere near as developed as they were in Shaun of the Dead, but this being a straight to video flick, I didn’t really expect them to be terribly developed. Everyone did okay with what they were given, but no one was particularly stand out either. I do like Gina Phillips though; I have ever since seeing her in Jeepers Creepers. The conversation between the sheriff and the doctor about the cow chip competition is quotation-worthy.

What was mediocre? The story has a Chorus in the form of a country band, much like Something About Mary. It’s funny, but it can pull you out of the story too. Their lyrics are just silly. Portia d Rossi’s character was unnecessary, and there wasn’t a whole lot of chemistry between any of the actors.

I’d say if you are looking for a zombie comedy and you have already seen Shaun of the Dead, you should rent Dead & Breakfast. It’s straight-to-video, but the gore and acting is better than you might expect. It’s no Shaun, but no much is.

Rating: 3 Purrs

Sherlock Holmes Movie Double Feature

I love mysteries, and Sherlock Holmes is of course, one of my favorites. I stumbled across the following two movies due to NetFlix recommendations. They were both worthwhile for any Arthur Conan Doyle fan to see.

Dr. Bell and Mr. Doyle: The Dark Beginnings of Sherlock Holmes

Dr. Bell and Mr. Doyle (also known as Murder Rooms) tells the story of how Arthur Conan Doyle created the character of Sherlock Holmes. Doyle was in medical school when women were first being admitted. Amongst the hubbub of the young men protesting this intrusion, Doyle meets his mentor, Dr. Bell (Ian Richardson), an unusual teacher who believes in new methods of detection and treating illness. His newfangled ways work to his advantage, in that he moonlights as a consultant to the police and test out his theories. The police aren’t very sure in his methods, of course, but he eventually proves himself to his doubtful student, and that’s all that really matters. Soon, the two are drawn into the cases of a few murdered women, and the woman Doyle has fallen for, who is a medical student along side him, is being threatened. Dr. Bell and his student rush to solve the mystery and save the girl. In doing so, Doyle finds the influence he needs to create the indomitable character of Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking

Rupert Everett plays Sherlock Holmes and Ian Hart plays Dr. Watson in this Holmes tale. Here, Holmes is lured out of semi-retirement by Dr. Watson. Young debutantes are being stalked and killed by a serial killer, and Holmes is on the case to stop the madness. Introduced is Dr. Watson’s fiancée, Mrs. Vandeleur, who is a psychologist in her own right, and points Holmes into the general direction in which he must go to solve the crimes. Rachael Hurd Wood (Wendy from Peter Pan) has a small part as one of the debutantes.

The acting in both movies was well done. Ian Richardson was wonderful as Dr. Bell. He felt like an aged Sherlock Holmes. Dolly Wells was excellent as Elspeth Scott, the girl who captures Doyle’s affections. She is smart, pretty, and very serious. Rupert Everett was a wonderful Sherlock Holmes. Jeremy Brett is probably my favorite Holmes rep in the actors list of those who have played the great detective, but Rupert Everett was good at making the role his own. Everyone’s favorite demon from Hex, Michael Fassbender, had a small part and was appropriately attractive and creepy all in the same moment.

Overall, I thought both movies were worthwhile if you like the great detective. If I had to rate one over the other, I’d go with Dr. Bell and Mr. Doyle first. It felt like a better production and had a more interesting plot.

Rating: 4 Purrs

Hard Candy

What a movie. Finally, I find a horror thriller that my husband will watch with me. He was intrigued by the concept of Hard Candy, and by the end, both of us were curled up on the couch cringing.

Hard Candy is all about Hayley. She’s met a man in a chat room and they decide to meet for coffee. At first, you cringe because you know something’s not right. You think to yourself, “Girl, what are you doing? Can’t you tell the man’s a little freaky?” It doesn’t take you very long to realize that things aren’t all what they seem. Soon, Hayley is back at Jeff’s house and things start to play a little differently that what Jeff expected.

Ellen Page plays Hayley with much more depth that I would have expected after seeing her in X-Men 3. She’s creepy, she’s smart, and she’s vulnerable. She’s a chameleon, and just perfect in the part. Patrick Wilson plays Jeff, and he ranges from flirty and creepy, to scared, to terrorized, to angry, to lost, all without ever seeming to slip into “acting.” The movie rests on the shoulders of these two actors (they are the only ones on the screen for 98 % of the movie) and they never let you down. They have excellent chemistry.

To be honest, I knew to make this a horror thriller it would have to deviate from the normal child and pedophile storyline, so the earlier twist wasn’t all that unexpected. It didn’t diminish the movie in the least. In fact, it heightened the whole experience, because you were left wondering when would things flip back? Would they? Who would win?

Hard Candy is one of the best thrillers I have seen in a long time. It’s scary and full on cringe-worthy. It’s just about perfect in its own disturbing way.

Rating: 4 ½ Purrs

The Return by Bentley Little

Bentley Little is one of those writers I found while browsing at Half-Price Books. One of his short stories, The Washingtonians, has been adapted for the Showtime Masters of Horror series. It’s one I enjoyed quite a bit actually, and because of that, I put him on my regular list for the used bookstore browsing. The first round, The Walking, I didn’t like much, but each book I have read has gotten better. Either that or I have gotten used to the very bizarre machinations of some of his plots.

The Return tells the story of the Mogollon Monster, an ancient Bigfoot type creature that was made up to scare the Boy Scouts camping out in Arizona campgrounds. It is supposed to be just a tall tale, a campfire ghoul, but then an archeological excavation starts digging up unusual Anasazi artifacts. Artifacts like a figurine of a screaming woman, pottery shards that show the houses and people involve din the dig, bones that are unclassifiable and misshapen. Suddenly, Anasazi artifacts start dancing and moving in museums, regular townspeople start returning to the basic instincts of violence and survival at all costs, and a few of the people on the dig start wondering how much truth there is in legend and how in the world you stop a legend turned real.

The Return involves most of the Bentley Little trademarks. It takes place in the Southwest, ancient evils are involved, and the protagonist is a regular guy who stumbles upon the weird goings on. There are sections of extreme gore, and people acting in extremely violent ways. It’s all a little familiar, but different enough that it’s interesting. The plot is creative, the main characters likable, and the mystery intriguing enough to keep you guessing how it will be wrapped up.

I liked The Return. I wouldn’t rank it at the top of Bentley Little’s work, that would be The Collection, The Revelation, or The House, but if you are a horror fan, think of Bentley Little as a Clive Barker lite.

Rating: 3 ½ stars

In a Glass Darkly by Sheridan Le Fanu

In a Glass Darkly is a collection of short stories introduced by Dr. Hesselious. The fictional doctor is obsessed with the metaphysical, and his case notes bind each of the otherwise unrelated stories together. Sheridan Le Fanu was an Irish writer who was obsessed with the supernatural. He wrote this collection in 1872, and much of the content reflects his studies of death and the unknown after his wife died. Some sort of sadness or conflict in addition to possible supernatural events haunts all the characters in these stories.

In a Glass Darkly includes five stories: Green Tea, The Familiar, Mr. Justice Harbottle, The Room in the Dragon Volant, and Carmilla. Out of all of them, Carmilla was my favorite, but my opinion was probably colored by The Vampire Lovers (the movie version of the novella, and the way I even found Le Fanu). Green Tea is Dr. Hesselius’s story, where he is called in to save a friend who is haunted by a monkey. The Familiar is very similar, except the man is haunted by a past transgression. Mr. Justice Harbottle is the story of a man haunted by the decisions he has made in the courtroom. The Room in the Dragon Volant has a touch of the supernatural, but this man is haunted more by a beautiful woman he has come to love, not a ghost. Now he fears for his beloved’s life and plots to save her from her dangerous husband. Trouble is, he is staying in the room at the Dragon Volant, and every man who has stayed there has disappeared into thin air. Carmilla was a delightful vampire story tinged with lesbian undertones. The young heroine recounts her adventures with Carmilla almost wistfully.

Carmillla is the most complex story in the collection, followed closely by Dragon Volant. There is more content in these stories to flesh out plot and characters. All of the stories, except Carmilla, have two possibilities. They could be supernatural events or they could just be unusual happenings. If you like Victorian ghost stories, or if any sort of lover of vampire lore, you should definitely take some time to read Sheridan Le Fanu. I have one of his other well-known books, Uncle Silas. I look forward to reading it.

Rating: 4 Purrs

The DaVinci Code

I just finished watching Ron Howard’s movie, The DaVinci Code. I have no words to describe my dislike. I’m at a loss; I can’t even write a few paragraphs to describe how awful, unimaginative, uninspired, and unbelievable waste of time this was. There was no chemistry between any of the actors, and you had some serious actors here: Jean Reno, Tom Hanks, Audrey Tatatou, Paul Bettany, Ian McCellan, Alfred Molina. We aren’t talking B-List, but you would think you had the D-List cast with the quality in this movie.

I would recommend watching, oh I don’t know, National Treasure, for more chemistry and excitement than The DaVinci Code, or, you could just watch the Indiana Jones movies if you want to watch a treasure hunt movie. It’s a much better choice for your time.

Rating: 1 Hiss

Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis

Bret Easton Ellis is one of those writers you either love or hate. (I happen to like him.) He writes about people you can’t really like, and many times his plots are convoluted or just vapid, mirroring his characters. Ellis wrote Less Than Zero while his was still in college, and that alone is enough to make you give this book a look. He peel back any attempt at making the world of this book pretty like you would like Los Angeles, the place of dreams to be. It’s an empty, ugly world, with empty, pretty people.

In 1980’s L.A., Clay is home from New Hampshire for Christmas. His ex-girlfriend Blair is still attracted to him, but that doesn’t keep either of them faithful. His friend Julian has become heavily addicted to heroin and is now selling himself for drugs. Clay hardly knows his family and has no clue about who he is. He does drugs and drinks constantly and spends his days and nights partying with people he doesn’t even know.

The end of the book comes, and you are left just as confused as Clay. All of the characters run together. They are all blond and tan, they all have too much money and too much free time. Towards the end, you hope that Clay has reached a point where he wants more from life, especially after seeing Julian reach rock bottom, but you have no guarantee. You hope the phrase that opens the book, “people are afraid to merge,” resonates with him at the end. You hope Clay, having been removed, returned, and leaving again, realizes he can be of some substance. You hope he has redeemed himself, but deep down, you know he hasn’t. Being a Bret Easton Ellis character, you know not to hope for any real change, and that’s the real point of the book. These children are lost souls with no way out and no real will to leave. No one can help them, because they care little about helping themselves.

Rating: 4 Purrs

The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman

Alice Hoffman writes beautiful prose, and she writes a lot of it. The trouble is, sometimes that means books tend to feel like repeats of each other. I feel that The Ice Queen is somewhere in the middle. It’s similar to others she has written, but it doesn’t feel like a complete copy.

The Ice Queen tells the story of a solitary librarian who is obsessed with death. When she was eight years old, when it was night and ice was on the ground, she wished her mother dead. Her mother never comes home. She from then on she separated herself from everyone and everything, making up her life story into a fairy tale with a girl whose heart is frozen into a ball of ice. Later on, she loses her grandmother and ends up in Florida with her brother Ned. There she wishes to be struck by lightening, and her wish again comes true. From there she becomes obsessed with a man named Lazarus who was also struck by lightening. He is fire, constantly burning from within, while she is solid ice, constantly frozen. Their affair makes her life interesting for a while, and helps thaw her inner frozen heart. Later, circumstances help her wake up to life and turn her back on death.

The main character is never named, and it is appropriate. She is not a character you really have any sympathy for. The real characters that grab you only really show up at the end. Ned and his wife are those characters, and you only really see into their lives when the main character finally melts enough to see outside of her own self. If that is what Alice Hoffman wanted, then she was effective with her character development. Otherwise, she fails in developing any real characters you care about.

What really grabbed me in this book was a scene towards the end. The scene in California made me cry, and I am not completely sure it was just her writing, or if it was a little too close to home with events in my life lately. I could see the beauty of the scene, and it still makes my heart clench. I’d wade through all of those ice-cold pages to read that scene with fresh eyes again.

Overall, if you are a fan of her work, I’d recommend reading The Ice Queen. Otherwise, I’d point you to some of her better work, like The Probable Future, The River King, or Practical Magic.

Rating: 3 Purrs

Recent Aquisitions to the Library

• The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood
• The Painted Veil by W. Somerset Maugham
• Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind
• Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman
• A Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut
• Thunderstruck by Neil Larson
• The Monsters by Dorothy and Thomas Hoobler
• Strange Piece of Paradise by Terri Jentz
• The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier
• The Cold Six Thousand by James Ellroy

The Crow: Wicked Prayer

I’m a sucker for Edward Furlong. I remember the boy from Terminator 2 fondly, so of course I had to rent the fourth installment of The Crow series. I took a real chance, because the third installment, The Crow: Salvation was downright awful, despite Kirsten Dunst. (Yes, you read that right. Talk about contractual obligation.) This installment was definitely direct-to-video worthy, but it was not nearly as bad as the third.

Jimmy Cuervo (Furlong) is an ex-con who loves Lilly (Emmanuelle Chiquri), an Indian shaman who is leading her people to shut down the toxic mine in their community and open a casino. Luc Crash (David Boreanz) is the bad guy, the leader of the local satanic cult, whose followers are called Famine, Pestilence, and War. His girl is an ex-hooker called Lola Byrne (Tara Reid) who wants to be more than just white trash. Luc wants to become the Anti-Christ, and of course to do this, Lilly and Jimmy have to die. This of course leads Jimmy to come back as The Crow, to set the wrong things right, etc., etc.

If the first Crow was a kung fu Goth action movie, the second was a Goth music video, and the third was just plain painful, the fourth is a western. I saw potential in it, but the actors were either poor or left with very little to do. The dialog was laughable. The action is negligible and where it was present, the wires and slow motion were obvious attempts at masking the fact that none of the actors could really do any of the fight scenes. Even the costumes were Hot Topic bought, and if you are any little bit of a smidgeon of Indian, you won’t like the shaman’s outfits. She looks good in them, no doubt, but they are shamefully not even close to authentic.

Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this unless you like the actors or just feel like you need to see The Crow series to completion. Otherwise, just pass it on by. If you watch it, you will just wish for what it could have been.

Rating: 2 ½ Purrs

The Murderer Next Door: Why the Mind Is Designed to Kill by David M. Buss

David M. Buss's goal in The Murder Next Door is to explain why normal, next-door neighbor type people murder. He has a plausible theory that normal people kill because we evolved that way. He is an evolutionary psychologist, and he outlines his theory in detail. It's too bad the theory seems stretched thin over repetitions of the same type of examples.

Buss concentrates on the next door kind of murder, and leaves out murders caused by deep rooted psychological issues, serial killers, war, mass murders and the like. According to Buss, it all boils down to survival. Humans evolved to find murder to be a viable solution to certain evolutionary issues. Bottom line, women kill to protect their children, themselves from dangerous mates and outsiders, and their viable genetic contributors (their mates) from poachers. Men kill to protect their genetic contributors (their mates, or in the case of stalkers, their perceived or previous mates), cut off others' genetic lines (i.e., stepchildren), and ensure their place in the wealth and status of the community.

Buss cites much of his own research, where he interviewed a large group of people about situations where they felt they would murder or where they would be murdered, in addition to many other sources cited in the back of the book. The interviews are interesting, and they indeed support his theory. However, I can't believe that his reasons are the be all and end all theory of why normal people kill. Pigeonholing people into strict evolutionary theories just seems too pat to me. Maybe I feel like we have evolved beyond such primitive urges, but then again, I turn on the news and sometimes it makes me doubt it.

I would recommend this book if you are interested in reading a theory about why someone like your next-door neighbor might murder you because you leered at his wife, or if you are interested in the psychology of murder. However, I would also take it with a grain of salt. It's not nearly as extensive as I was hoping, as I was looking to read more than one theory repeated with other examples. Overall, it left me hanging and frustrated, wanting more of a reason behind murder than just the protection of my mate and the insurance of good genetic continuation.

Ratings: 3 Purrs

Recent Aquisitions to the Library

I just received from Amazon (woot for GC for filling out work surveys!):

• The Hero & The Crown by Robin McKinley (My all-time favorite book, ever. Yes, I know that it is a book for young adults.)
• The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins
• The Haunted Hotel by Wilkie Collins

Rest Stop

Rest Stop is a straight to video horror flick I got from NetFlix. It looked like it would be a gritty, icky type film like The Hills Have Eyes, Saw, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It wasn’t quite up to par with those, which I didn’t really expect it to be, but still I was disappointed with the story overall.

Nicole sneaks away from home with her boyfriend to drive out to California. After some afternoon delight out in the woods, they stop at a rest stop out in the middle of the woods. Unfortunately for them, this is not a good place to stop and use the bathroom. Weird things start to happen, with first off, her boyfriend disappearing. Then some creepy guy in a truck keeps stalking her. A girl appears and then disappears, lots of blood oozes over the floors, and weird notes are written on the walls. She seeks refuge with a family in a Winnebago who ends up being even weirder than the guy in the truck. She just can’t seem to escape the rest stop and the guy in the truck, no matter what choose your own adventure path she takes.

Jaimie Alexander, the girl who plays Nicole, is an okay actress. She’s somewhat resourceful in her part, and she’s girl-next-door pretty enough to play a horror movie heroine. Everyone else is negligible, except the family in the Winnebago. They are People Under The Stairs creepy. If they were more of the movie, it would have been leaps and bounds better.

There is very little gore involved, and you really do keep wondering why in the world the dumb girl keeps coming back to the same rest stop, when she could just walk away? The plot just meanders about and doesn’t really conclude in any way. It’s like someone cut out everything that might have connected events together and just left the bloody parts. In fact, I had to hit the extras and read the boards at IMDB to just figure out what the heck went on and what was up with the rest stop and the guy in the truck. If, maybe, the director and writer had left a bit more explanation in I might have liked it a bit more, but with the cuts made to the film it’s impossible to follow.

Rating: 2 ½ Purrs

Cell by Stephen King

Stephen King is one of my favorite writers, even though most people I know think he’s not worth reading. I like his characters, and I like how he writes the normal everyday things into scariness. When I heard he had written another end of the world type book, like one of my top 10 favorite books of all time, The Stand, I had to get it and read it as quickly as possible. I couldn’t even wait for paperback. I liked this book so much that I read it in a few hours over a couple of days.

Clayton Riddell is in Boston where he has just finished selling his comic book idea. He is happy and looking forward to getting home to tell his wife and son. While he is in line to buy an ice cream cone, the woman in front of him answers her cell phone, and then, the whole world around him breaks into hell. Everyone who had a cell phone and used it was hit, and turned into their basic forms of self. They attack at will, without weapons or with. Riddell seeks shelter and groups up with two others, Alice, a teenage girl, and Tom, a middle aged man who was with Riddell at the first attacks. They decide to head to Maine to find out the fate of Riddell’s son and wife. Along the way, they discover more and more about the people affected by the “pulse” and find many “normies” along the way. Problem is, people have reacted to the event in many ways, and some don’t like them much. Everyone is heading north, and for some reason, the crazies want Riddell and his group safely transported into the middle of enemy territory. What will happen to our group of travelers, and will Riddell find his son in one piece? Will he be able to save him?

The only real issue I had with the book is that it, at times, seems to be a retread of The Stand, mostly the passages about survival, walking instead of driving, and some of the secondary “bad people” characters. Two of the guys in particular reminded me of The Kid that Trashcan Man meets up with on the way to Vegas. It was a bit disappointing, but it did make me want to read The Stand again. I still enjoyed the book immensely, anyway.

Cell is more than just a cool zombie, end of the world book. It is the journey of a man to find his salvation and to make amends with the son he left behind. It’s a peek into what we as a people are like after 9/11. What if there was another attack? How would we react? Stephen King just adds an element of the unnatural to bring the idea into the forefront. It’s a good read, albeit a scary one. It made me think twice about answering my cell phone after I read it.

Rating: 4 ½ Purrs

The Big Nowhere by James Ellroy

Ever since a friend of mine handed me The Black Dahlia, I knew I would have to get James Ellroy’s other books. The Big Nowhere is the second book in the L.A. Quartet after the Dahlia, and it is quite a long, convoluted, but enjoyable read.

The Big Nowhere is set in Los Angeles in 1950, where the heads of the city are chomping at the bit to fend off the Commies and Howard Hughes just wants to get the latest little starlet into bed. Someone is killing gay men, mutilating them, and leaving them out in public places for all to see. Danny Upshaw is a Sheriff’s deputy that becomes obsessed with the murders. His investigative techniques are up and coming, but the case has him all twisted up because he is struggling with his sexuality himself. In his desperate attempt to solve the murders, he gets involved with a task force charged with infiltrating the Communist labor groups in the movie industry. Dudley Smith (a regular character in this quartet of novels) is leading the task force against the Commies. Smith is a rough guy who knows how to grease the right people to move up in the police system, and you see him do so as the book goes on. Mal Considine is working in the task force for the D.A., just so he can advance his career and gain custody of his adopted son. Buzz Meeks is working for the money, so he can take the ex-stripper he’s in love with, who also happens to be a mob boss’s gal, away from L.A and off to safety. Of course, the task force and the murders end up being connected, and lots of blood is spilled before the end.

Danny Upshaw infiltrates the labor group and struggles with his new responsibilities. He is torn between who he is and what others expect him to be. Upshaw is the most well rounded character of the book, but in truth, all three main characters are well sketched out. It does get somewhat difficult to keep track of all the various side characters, especially when I wanted to try and tie them backwards to The Black Dahlia and forwards into L.A. Confidential (the movie anyway, since I haven’t read the book).

As for the plot, Ellroy pulls all of the ugly in 1950’s L.A. out into the open. No one is really clean, and everyone wants something from someone else. Once the cases are solved and you come to the conclusion, you are satisfied. Some things are resolved; others are left open for the upcoming novels.

Overall, The Big Nowhere left me satisfied and ready to read L.A. Confidential, the next in the quartet. If you like hard-boiled detective novels mixed up with noir, you’d like James Ellroy and his L.A. Quartet.

Rating: 4 Purrs

Miracles (Cancelled TV Show with Skeet Ulrich)

Miracles is a cancelled TV show from 2003, and in my opinion it was cancelled way too soon. The show had a good first season, and showed real potential for a second season.

Miracles centers around the story of Paul Callan (Skeet Ulrich), who is a young man raised in an orphanage who investigates supposed miracles for the Catholic Church. When he witness what he sees as a real miracle, and the leaders of the church ignore his report, he resigns and begins working for Sodalitas Quaerito, a group who investigate weird happenings and supposed miracles. Avla Keel (Angus MacFadyen) leads the group, and plays a skeptic to Paul’s religious beliefs. Evelyn Santos (Marisa Ramirez) is a former cop who helps the two in their investigations.

During the season, you get good character development on all three main characters. You have “monster of the week” type episodes, plus an overlying story arc that involves Paul trying to find out who his family was and why he was the one person to see a certain message in the first episode. The most memorable episodes were of course, the pilot (some great imagery there, and stunts), plus:

• “The Friendly Skies” has great moments with the sub characters, and delves deeply into Paul’s nature.


• “Hand of God” continues the underlying story arc of Paul’s true parentage and potential.


• “You are my sunshine” is a great ghost story.


• “Mother’s Daughter” has Maggie Grace from Lost as a young Amish girl who becomes possessed by the soul of a girl long dead.


• “Paul is Dead” is a great season ender, with the appropriate cliffhanger. Unfortunately, we will never know the truth about Paul because of shortsighted TV execs.

Miracles is a good X-Files type show. It’s a pity they cancelled it after six episodes. It could have been a great show with a little time.

Death and Restoration by Iain Pears

I picked up this book because I loved Iain Pears' other books, An Instance of the Fingerpost and Dream of Scipio. Unfortunately, this book requires nowhere near the brainpower to absorb that those two did. It's an okay book that touches on a subject dear to my heart (art restoration, art history, all that good stuff), but it's more like "Iain Pears Lite."

Death and Restoration is a mystery immersed in Roman culture and European iconic lore. You have Jonathan Argyll, an art history professor, and Flavia, one of the members of the Italian police art squad. They are engaged to be married, if she can just take off work long enough for them to set a date. Rumors begin circulating that a valuable painting belonging to a monastery will be stolen while a boisterous art restorer is cleaning it. Flavia is on the case, especially when she sees that her old nemesis, Mary Verney is in town. Mary Verney is a retired art thief, or she was retired, until a Mafia guy gives her an offer she can't refuse and sets her on the path to steal not the painting, but the icon displayed in the same monastery. When the icon turns up missing, the crossing and double-crossing begins.Jonathanthon is keen to find out why the icon would be important enough to steal, and that investigation is what really held my attention. He pokes around in the archives to find out the true story of the icon, finds out some nasty secrets the monastery holds and in that, he finds the truth of the mystery.

Despite the slow start to the book, the end is exciting, with all sorts of twists and turns, and is well paced to keep you reading. Once it starts, it keeps rolling until every one is accounted for. I can't help but like Jonathan Argyll; how can you not like an art history professor, struggling with disinterested students and lesson plans, who still has time to dig through dusty libraries in search of the truth about a piece of art most people have forgotten? It's like a dream come true. I couldn't decide whether to fan girl it or just be jealous.

I liked Death and Restoration. It was, after all, about the study of my favorite subject. However, I was expecting something heavier, so I think that might have colored my judgment overall. I was expecting something I would have to read and reread to follow the intricate plot. That was not the case with this book. It's a bit more cultured than your usual mystery, but it's not a brain twister by any means.

Rating: 3 ½ Purrs

Recent Acquisitions to the Library

After a quick trip to Half-Price Books, I was able to pick up a bunch of books I had been looking for:

• Kurt Vonnegut - The Sirens of Titan, Bluebeard
• Stephen King - Cell
• Patricia Highsmith - Those Who Walk Away, The Cry of the Owl, Edith's Diary
• James Ellroy - Brown's Requiem
• Shirley Jackson - The Haunting of Hill House

I was at a disadvantage, seeing as how I left my iPod at home and didn't have my "want" lists.

Slither

I was just blessed with NetFlix sending me Slither, and while it wasn’t all that I hoped for, it was a fun time. I must admit I am a huge Joss Whedon fan, much to Pandabob’s chagrin, so when I saw Nathan Fillion was in this I had to rent it. And of course, it involved slimy space alien slugs infecting a town, so, bonus!

It was funny, it was gross, and it wasn’t all that groundbreaking. Night of the Creeps was funnier and with a very similar plot, with its extremely dorky heroes and 80’s pastel flair. Nathan Fillion is the town sheriff, who holds a flame for Starla (Elizabeth Banks), who is married to the richest man in town. Michael Rooker is that man, Grant Grant, who, of course, ends up finding a weird piece of space trash (The Blob anyone?) and after awhile ends up becoming a big slimy thing himself. There’s a teenage girl that survives an attack and becomes the Chorus for the movie, explaining everything as you go along.

It’s pretty standard fare, with both good and bad. It was funny, and there were bits of dialog that were worthwhile. The CGI was disappointing, but Grant Grant the slimy man and his transformation into Queen Slug were really well done. It seems like everyone had a good time filming the movie, so there is a sense of joviality underneath.

Slither overall is just a bit too much like Night of the Creeps (which was 80’s cheese ball perfection to me) and just not quite as funny B-Movie as Tremors or horror comedy as Shaun of the Dead. Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t end up buying it.

Rating: 4 Purrs

Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay

Dexter came to me as a suggestion from my book club, just like many of the surprises in my bookcase. As usual, the paperback book club did not steer me wrong, and I devoured the first Dexter book, Darkly Dreaming Dexter, in a couple of hours. I anxiously awaited the sequel Dearly Devoted Dexter to reach paperback (cause I am cheap reader like that) and when it finally did, I ordered that puppy as fast as Amazon could ship it to me. Jeff Lindsay and his friend Dexter did not disappoint me.

Dexter is a blood splatter expert for Miami-Dade PD. He has a girlfriend, a sister, and is the foster son of a cop. He is also a serial killer who preys on other killers, if they pass the Harry Test (Harry was his cop father. You learn in the first book that he knew about Dexter’s tendencies and instead of stifling them, trained them to “benefit” society). This time around, Dexter has to deal with his sister coming to terms with what he is, an angry cop trailing him wherever he goes, a girlfriend who expects to move to the next level of the relationship, and a particularly icky serial killer who maims his victims in a really disturbing way. I won’t spoil it for you, cause you need to read that first encounter with fresh, unspoiled brain cells.

The whole premise sounds a bit cliché, and I suppose it is on one level. Serial killers are all the rage, especially since Silence of the Lambs. It’s not often though, that you read about a guy like Dexter and find him to be the hero of your novel. He’s funny, but he’s also cold, and believes that his punishment should fit the crimes of those he kills. He is not a good guy, but somehow you forget that. Somehow, Jeff Lindsay makes Dexter into someone you like, someone you scarily enough, can identify with. That’s what makes these books.

I’m not sure if I found Dexter’s comments about his “Dark Passenger” more annoying in this book because this was my second time around with Dexter, or if it was because Lindsay mentioned it more this time. I do know the killer Dexter hunts is not someone you would want to meet on a dark street, but even so, he too is a believable antagonist. He’s scary, but not so scary that you have to imagine that people like him could not possibly exist. You see too much in the news these days to not believe he could, and that adds even more unease to your psyche while you read.

I wasn’t scared while reading this book, but it did give me chills. I would give the first installment of the Dexter story 5 Purrs, but I can’t give this one a perfect score. Too much “woe is me, Dark Passenger” musings this time for my taste, but it was well worth the read.

Rating: 4 Purrs

It's foggy in here.

I'm watching The Fog (the John Carpenter original of course) and it just dawned on me that Bennett, the handyman at the church at the beginning (you know the come back tomorrow at 6:00 instead guy) is John Freakin' Carpenter. I have watched this movie maybe 15 times and it just registered.

Color me embarrassed.

The Woods

I liked Lucky McKee’s first theatrical release film, May, and I liked his Masters of Horror episode, Sick Girl. His second film, The Woods, is nowhere near as inventive as these other two, and there is no Angela Bettis to liven or weird things up (well, okay, she does the voice of the creepy woods.). The Woods is much like if you blended Suspiria, Satan’s School for Girls, Acacia, the weird tree monsters from Evil Dead, and threw in a psychic teenager for garnish. It’s not bad, but it’s not great either.

Agnes Bruckner is Heather, a girl who is shipped off to boarding school out in the middle of nowhere because she can’t get along with her mother. She doesn’t like the place, naturally, with the creepy teachers and headmistress (Patricia Clarkson) pulling her out of class for weird psychic tests and the school bully calling her “Fire crotch.” After awhile, she realizes something weird is going on, something more ominous than a school bully, when all of the girls who pass the “gifted” test end up turning into a pile of leaves. You know what is going on; there are no surprises there.

Agnes Bruckner is an wonderful actress, as is Patricia Clarkson. They do well with the occasionally cardboard script. Bruce Campbell plays Heather’s dad; I only wish there had been more of him. Rachel Nichols was good as the bully, with just enough of that teenage girl evilness to make her believable.

I wish there had been more atmosphere and more tension overall. The woods were supposed to be creepy, but they ended up just looking like trees in the breeze. The CGI was laughable, but the effects at the end were creepy enough to remind me of a book I read when I was younger that still creeps me the heck out now. (The Plant People by Dale Bick Carlson. There are images in that book that I still can’t get out of my head.) Maybe that is why I am disappointed in this movie. It could have been extra scary, but instead it was lackluster. I can see why it was sent straight to video.

Rating: 3 Purrs, but only because of Patricia Clarkson and The Plant People

Feast

I rented Feast mostly because I heard that it was a jolly good gore fest, with decent acting and decent special effects, and I’ll pretty much give anything a look-see if it has the tag horror-comedy attached. The rumblings were right; it was more than decent. It was funny, it was bloody, and it was sick and twisted. It reminded much of Evil Dead II, The Return of the Living Dead, and other horror comedies. It never takes itself seriously, and once things start moving, they never really let up.

Feast’s tagline pretty much sums up the movie. “They’re hungry. You’re dinner.” There’s no explanation, and after a bit of intro for each character, weird slimy things come out of nowhere and start slicing and dicing. It’s like a drive-by horror movie, with extra rapid fire.

What was good about Feast? The acting was surprisingly good. Krista Allen shows some decent range as a single mom bar waitress, who goes from world weary, to terrorized and distraught, to tough kill or be killed in a matter of 90 minutes. Henry Rollins plays against type as a motivational life coach (yes, you read that right). Eileen Ryan fondly remembered from Eight Legged Freaks, Balthazar Getty, Clu Gulager (from aforementioned Return of the Living Dead fame), and the rest of the supporting cast do well with what they are given. Like I said before, the special effects were good, with plenty of movie-splatter fake blood everywhere and pretty respectable looking slimy monsters. Deaths of humans and monsters alike were inventive, and downright unexpected. Everyone and everything is fair game.

What was not so good? The dialog was laughable through most of it, in fact, I am pretty sure the same character repeated the same lines (maybe slight variations of, but it was darn close) multiple times in 10 minutes. The monster humping I could have done without. It was funny the first time, but excessive after three. The final battle is excellent, with the main character showing some Ripley there at the end, but after that scene, the original ending on the DVD was much better. The one in the theatrical release is too standard Hollywood, with the last “jump” scare before credits roll.

Overall, it was a good splatter fest with acceptable actors and a director with potential. It’s much better than, in my opinion, Saw or Hostel that rely on too much of a pretend “plot” and twist endings. This one is straight up, with no chaser, with no explanations. It’s not a thinking man’s horror movie at all, and that was just what the crazy monster humping the deer head called for.

Rating: 4 1/2 Purrs

Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear

Meet Maisie Dobbs, psychologist and investigator. I found her because of a book club I belong to that puts out paperbacks. I love a mystery, so of course I bit and brought home not one, but all three of the Maisie Dobbs mysteries.

Maisie Dobbs is the daughter of a greengrocer who is sent off to live and work at Lady Rowan’s house. Lady Rowan, when she discovers Maisie reading and absorbing some difficult books in her library, takes the girl under her wing and introduces her to Maurice. Maurice becomes her tutor and second father, and teaches her and sends her on her way into Cambridge to get a degree. Unfortunately, World War I intervenes, and when a girl she knows dies, she leaves school to become a nurse. Later, her experience as a nurse in France helps her in her first case, a seemingly easy infidelity case. Her search for answers leads to more questions about those men injured terribly in the war who decide to leave society and take up residence at The Retreat. Something seems fishy, and she is determined to figure it out. The answers she finds help bring about some closure to her own past, and opens her up to a bright future as a compassionate investigator.

I really enjoyed getting to know Maisie Dobbs. She was a real, well-rounded character. She is compassionate and smart, but troubled as well. She isn’t a cardboard cut out, and when her history is revealed, you feel compassion for her. The mystery is engaging, and although I pretty much figured it all out about as soon as The Retreat was mentioned, I still enjoyed the journey. I liked the way Jacqueline Winspear described England at war and of the struggles of each person in the aftermath. They are realistic without being so awful you need to turn away. You can tell Ms. Winspear speaks from experience (that of her family at least), and I felt as if she was telling me the story of someone she knew. It is delicate but it doesn’t turn away from the brutal facts of war.

I really can’t wait to read more about Maisie Dobbs and her investigations. If you like reading mysteries set in a historical period about intelligent women who use compassion, psychology, and their minds to solve problems, similar to the Jane Austen series of mysteries or the like, you’d like Maisie Dobbs.

Rating: 5 Purrs

I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer

You know, for a straight to video movie, I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer wasn’t half bad. I’m a horror movie junkie, and I’ll watch just about anything, especially when it comes to the month of October. I heard rumors this wasn’t as bad as you’d expect it to be, and wow, the comments were right.

What’s good about it? The plot isn’t much new, in fact it’s a carbon copy of the other two, but the movie still entertains. You don’t rent a sequel like this and expect a new plot anyway. As required of all good teen slasher pics, the deaths are splatter-ific and fairly inventive. Each kid in on the secret is tormented, so all have good time in the story. The acting is pretty decent, especially the two girl leads, Amber (Brooke Nevin) and Zoe (Torrey DeVitto). How can you not like an Angelina Jolie look-a-like who plays a rocker-chick? And hey, there’s no Jennifer Love Hewitt to annoy you. I even jumped a few times. Yeah, they were cheap scares, but effective.

What’s icky about it? Well, the ex-boyfriend is annoying and not such a good actor. Of course, he could be a good actor to annoy me so much. The whole prank gone wrong idea is good, except why wait a whole year to exact revenge, when all of your secret keepers are already there in town? Well, except for the ex-boyfriend, and you could always take care of him later. Oh, and the killer, not so good an idea. But the dispatching of the killer, way too good.

Overall, it’s worth a rental if you like teen slasher movie sequels. If you are looking for something fresh and inventive, this isn’t it.

Rating: 3 1/2 Purrs

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

I owe my obsession with Neil Gaiman’s work to a good friend who lent me her copy of Neverwhere for a business trip I took to Seattle. I read the book in an hour, and was instantly hooked. I got my own copy of Neverwhere for the library, and recently I ordered my own copy of Anansi Boys for vacation reading. It didn’t get here in time for my vacation, but I grabbed it and read it as soon as the box arrived at my doorstep. My enthusiasm and anticipation wasn’t wasted.

Anansi Boys is the story of Fat Charlie, who finds out after his father dies that he has a brother he didn’t know about. He’s living a normal, easygoing life in London, working for a talent agency and getting ready to marry his girlfriend. Then, he makes the mistake of asking a spider to tell his brother to come see him. You see, Fat Charlie’s dad was Anansi, the Spider god, God of Stories. Fat Charlie’s brother is Spider, and he seems to have gotten all of the powers of their father. He’s charming, persuasive, and he does nothing but wreck Charlie’s well-ordered life. He steals his girl, gets him fired, and drives his crazy boss even crazier. The light, happy story works its way to a dark place, and into a mythic battle between Tiger and Spider, but it all works out in the end.

The story flows like an old Anansi tale. Tiger is the villain; Bird Woman is at The End of the World; everyone wants to own the world’s stories. I really like how this book and American Gods pull gods out of the old myths to create modern myths. It’s an interesting and enjoyable idea, a way to bring the old myths into new knowledge. I will always love Gaiman’s stories, for the quirky characters he creates, the absurd situations that somehow feel just right, and the dialogue he creates that suits each character to a tee. However, I admit, I liked American Gods better, and nothing will ever top Neverwhere.

Rating: 4 Purrs

8:55 to Baghdad by Andrew Eames

8:55 to Baghdad was written because of a chance meeting Andrew Eames had while on tour in Aleppo. He discovers his hotel proprietor's mother remembers a very famous guest that stayed at the hotel many times. She remembers Agatha Christie, and Eames's curiosity is stirred. Why was Agatha Christie in Aleppo, and why was she a regular guest? What was her journey to the Middle East like? How did it influence her work? Eames sets out to answer those questions, and in the process provides a very interesting look into how much the world has changed, and how far-reaching Agatha Christie's works actually are.

Eames takes the journey to trace Agatha Christie soon after 9/11, so the journey itself becomes even more out of the ordinary. Not only is he revealing the truth behind the romantic vision we readers have of train travel and of Agatha Christie, but he also offers insights into the pre-Iraq war Middle East and surrounding areas. He meets people, lingers with them over tea, and gets them to share their stories. He does this even in Baghdad, where the U.S. is on the cusp of invading. You get a more discerning look into how people in Iraq reacted to 9/11, and more so, how these peoples' lives are everyday. In his realistic portrayals, you warm to even of some of the more aggravating characters that share his journey.

It's chance that while I was reading this book, I also listened to an old radio broadcast of Murder on the Orient Express, one of Christie's major works, and one of the works that was directly influenced by her journey to the Middle East. It made a nice foil to the early parts of the book, where Eames traces Agatha's journey to Turkey. He takes the Orient Express out of England, which due to world wars and changing politics, has dwindled down to a mirror of its former self. It is a tourist thing, with a few cars and not as much class as you might imagine due to the old 1970's movie.

Reading this book was almost like reading an Agatha Christie mystery itself. He compares each step of his journey with her life and her writings. You get a sort of mini-biography, a travel guide, a biography of her later work, and a history of the areas he travels through, all in one book. It's well worth the read if you are a fan of Agatha Christie (which I definitely am). If you aren't, I'd recommend it anyway, just because you get a glance at what life is like in the Middle East and surrounding areas, out of the mouths of the people themselves.

Rating: 5 Purrs

Recent Aquisitions to the Library

Here are some of the books I picked up recently:

• Good Bones and Simple Murders by Margaret Atwood
• In a Glass Darkly by Sheridan Le Fanu
• Uncle Silas by Sheridan Le Fanu
• Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay
• Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut

Welcome to Hiss Hiss Purrr, the place where I (and occasionally my other half) put down all of my thoughts on the books I read and the movies I watch. If it's in the mass media, it's fair game. I love to watch movies, and I love to read. I'll watch or read just about anything, but my favorites tend to fall in the foreign horror film genre and for books, mysteries and thrillers (at least for the moment). My tastes change quite a bit, so no telling what will end up here.

I hope you enjoy whatever that is, and I hope you, whoever you are, will give me recommendations as well.

Happy reading and watch out for the crazy guy with the axe!