Under the Dome by Stephen King

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I pretty much grab up the newest Stephen King books right as they hit the shelves. I am a bit of an addict that way. Under the Dome was no exception, except in one small way. It took me forever to finish it.

So what's it about? One day the small town of Chester's Mill, Maine is going about its business like any other day when all of a sudden something unusual appears (if you guessed a gigantic dome, you get a cookie). The town is completely cut off from the outside world. People die. What happens to a small town where everyone knows each other but now they are cut off? Do they trust each other? Do they help each other out? Not if you are in Stephen King's world.

It's not that I didn't enjoy it. I really did, once I got about half-way through. It was getting half-way that was the hard part. Well, that and the fact that the book is impossibly huge, and when you like to take the book you are reading everywhere, well, War and Peace sized books just don't get put in the computer bag. It took awhile to get the story rolling, and honestly i kept getting flashbacks to The Stand. (Cell did as well but it seemed to not bother me as much.) I actually put it aside for awhile and came back to it after a month or two. When I came back to it, I sped through it. Maybe it was just timing. It also felt a lot like this old movie I saw when I was younger, but to say any more would give away the twist, and I just can't do that.

I would recommend this if you are a King fan, but if you are looking for an end of the world type tale, I would say check out The Stand first. It's still my favorite.

Rating: 4 Purrs

- Posted using BlogPress from Bruce

2012

"When they tell you not to panic, that's when you run!"

I love disaster movies. I have the remake of The Poseidon Adventure on DVD. I've seen the TV version and Beyond The Poseidon Adventure. The Day After Tomorrow? Check. The Towering Inferno? Check. Earthquake? Check. The Airport movies? Yep. Now these movies are usually bad, but they are also so bad they are good. 2012, well, it cries for a RiffTrax.

My biggest problem with 2012 is the fact that it plays the standard Roland Emmerich does disaster movies playbook the whole way. (You know, secret science stuff, no one believes the truth, montages of random characters that no one cares about really because they are cardboard stereotypes, epic sweeps of far away countries also affected by the disaster accompanied by sweeping music, lots and lots of explosions and CGI.) It opens with some scientists finding out some really, really bad news. They rush to tell the politicians, and then secret stuff starts to happen. Fast forward a bit. The bad stuff starts to happen for real. John Cusack stumbles upon it, the everyman with the troubled family life, and then proceeds to run like crazy, everyone yelling a whole lot because everything is.so.very.important. Will they survive? The fact is it's very hard to care because they just don't create any sympathy with the viewer. They are so cardboard you just don't care. You even get the "Today is our Independence Day!" speech. Wait, twice!

Okay, well so what's good? The initial John Cusack grabs the family and races California crashing into the ocean in a limo was pretty damn hilarious and yet awesome at the same time. I imagine seeing it on the gigantic screen would have been fun, even if it was super heavy on the CGI. I actually laughed out loud. The number of times they escape disaster by the skin of their teeth is so many I lost count. It gets to be ridiculous way too fast. A character actually says, "Oh God, not again." I agree.

Maybe 2012 isn't so bad. Or maybe it's so bad it's good, if you can get past the awful, awful heavy-handed hammy acting. I don't really know yet. I might have to watch it again to tell for sure. But I will definitely skip the credits. One can only take that song once.

Rating: I'm not even sure. 3ish Purrs, maybe?

Carriers

I don't remember precisely how I stumbled across this gem of a film, but boy am I glad I did. Of course, I do tend to like those end of the world, everybody is dead from a global pandemic sort of media. I'm not sure exactly why. I mean, I'm a people person, right? I am good with people.

Anyway, Carriers opens up with four friends driving to the beach. Brian, Bobby, Danny, and Kate aren't really going for a good time though. They are trying to avoid infection, at any cost, which means when a stranger asks for gas, you have to really wonder if it's worth it to stop and help. There are rules to survive, gas is scarce, and anyone infected is a liability. The question really is, what is it to survive? Is it worth losing your humanity? Can you have compassion and survive a world where the touch of a stranger could kill you?

The Pastor brothers do a very nice job directing. Chris Pine plays pretty much the same character he always does, but I can't complain. It fits here. Piper Perabo is yummy. They filmed this mostly in New Mexico I believe, and I'm always for seeing more of that on film.

I expected a horror film, and what I got was more along the lines of a drama. I'm not complaining, mind you. I always like those stories that examine just how far people might go to survive. This could have gone deeper, could have gone darker, but for a 80-ish minute long movie, it did nicely.

Rating: 4.5 Purrs

The Mutant Chronicles

I rented The Mutant Chronicles from NetFlix, mostly because I love Thomas Jane in just about anything. I'm not sure I can forgive him this one though. This one felt more like a straight to SyFy (why oh why change your name why?) flick, not even a straight to DVD flick. It was that bad.

In some weird steampunk 1910 type universe, there are 4 corporations. They fight each other using trench warfare. A hole opens up and the mutants come out, slashing in lovely CGI gore. (by lovely I mean BAD. Really bad.) The world is lost (oh no!) and the Fellowship of the Ring must take the one ring to Mordor...wait wrong movie. A rag tag group of super fighters from the various corporations must band together to blow up the machine and save the planet. I know, it is as silly as it sounds.

What seemed somewhat interesting at first only heads pretty much straight into boring, oh-my-god seriously territory very quickly. The idea of a steampunk type world based on WWI rather than the Victorian Age could have been really interesting. In fact it held my attention here and there. Unfortunately the painful acting, awful plot, and ridiculous John Malkovich cameo just killed it. Oh and the, really that's the end ending. That too. I knew the minute the camera panned up to a red-clocked figure and I saw it was Ron Perlman that this movie was doomed. I like Ron Perlman, but with a fake accent and missing his HellBoy make-up, well, it just didn't seem right.

I really wouldn't recommend this one even to die-hard sci-fi fans. It's just too painful. And I like goofy sci-fi movies. Shut off the DVD player and read some Philip K Dick instead.

Rating: Hiss. Hiss I say!

The Happening

I avoided The Happening like the plague until it finally came on HBO and I DVRd it. I really wish, after watching it all the way through, mouth agape in wonder at how bad a movie could possibly be, that I could hunt Mr. Sixth Sense down and ask him for my hour and a half back. I mean, I have seen bad movies. I enjoy bad movies. I watch them with relish. Usually, those movies are so bad they are good. Even Manos, Hands of Fate was worthy of watching, simply because the MST3K guys made watching it enjoyable. I am sad to say that I doubt even those guys could make The Happening worth watching again. I think my mistake wasn’t hunting down a RiffTrax or Cinematic Titanic track to watch with it. Then maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t be so bitter about the 1.5 hours this movie cost me. I don’t know though. Maybe not.

What I liked about this movie. Hm. That’s a tough one. Is there anything? Well, there were some scenes that could have been truly disturbing. Unfortunately, they were all in the trailer. The images of people throwing themselves off of buildings, hanging from trees, and all other forms of mass suicide could have been horrific, if they were in the hands of a more capable director. Unfortunately, they weren’t.

I could take that leap of faith and think that Marky Mark Walberg was intelligent enough to actually teach a junior high science class. If I squinted enough and just jumped right in there and suspended that disbelief, I could believe that two people, one of whom is a favorite actress (Zooey Deshanel) could be married, despite a complete lack of chemistry. I mean, a complete lack. None. In fact, I often wondered if they were in the same movie, shooting the same scenes together, seeing as so much of it is shot in single actor frames, sort of like how no one believes Pacino and DeNiro were in Heat together because they never seemed to be in the same frame. Seriously, so much of the movie was shot in these single actor frames I wonder if anyone was actually shooting the same scene at the same time.

So much of the plot was telegraphed early one that I can't help but think I would have known the big a-ha twist even if it hadn't been spoiled for me but dozens of others. I mean, at the beginning, one of the kids in Marky Mark's science class says, "An act of nature, and we'll never fully understand it." I think Mr. Sixth Sense thought he was being profound, but you know, not really. And when I heard it I knew it would come back around. And guess what. It did. And when it did, I seriously eye-rolled my whole body. I half-way expected some big drum roll in the background.

I don't think this movie was supposed to make me laugh, but it did. Out loud. I almost cried I laughed so hard. I seriously wonder if any of the actors read the script before signing on, and if they did, what on Earth possessed them to go ahead and sign up? If not, did they fire their agents after reading the script? And how on Earth did anyone greenlight this project? I want to find out who it was and punch them right in the baby-maker. Yes, yes I do.

If you want to watch a ludicrous killer plant movie, watch something better, like Day of the Triffids. Or better yet, read the book. It's a better use of your time than this painful. heavy-handed, oh-so-dramatic drivel. I swear this is the absolute last time I watch a M. Night Shyamalan movie. I have now been burned bad enough to take no more chances.

Rating: Can I give more than 5 hisses? Cause I would. Hell, it's my blog. Hisses to the infinite power for this one.

Horrorfest 2009 - How many horror movies can I watch?

When my spouse decided to hit the road for a solo road trip the week of Memorial Day, I decided it was prime time to indulge in my guilty pleasure - horror movies. The good, the bad, and the way below B-quality. I wondered how many I could watch the week he was gone. One friend bet 12, my sister-in-law is betting 25. I'm curious to see which one is closest. So far, I am on movie 5 since he left mid-day on Friday. 

Here's what my viewing schedule has been so far:

• The Fog: The original, of course. John Carpenter is the king as far as cheesy 80's horror goes. Tom Atkins, Jamie Lee Curtis, and the always lovely Adrienne Barbeau take on spooky sailors who come back to seek revenge on the folks in Antonio Bay, CA who done them wrong. Synth heavy JC music, creepy fog, and lots of spooky sailor ghost action makes this one an old favorite, which in turn makes me so sad the remake sucked so badly (which doesn't matter because I own it anyway). The scene where the possessed driftwood makes the tape recorder creepy ghost voice freaks me out every time. It's downright spooky, no matter how many times I watch it. 
• Halloween (Unrated): Rob Zombie takes on a John Carpenter classic. It's no where as good as the original, and Scout Taylor Compton is in no way as good as Jamie Lee Curtis was in embodying the terrified, goody-two shoes Laurie Strode. But honestly, I loved watching Malcolm McDowell chew up the screen playing Dr. Loomis, and while I think some remakes suffer from trying to put too much background to the spooky killer, I like the young Michael Myers scenes. It almost loses my attention once Myers grows up and the teenagers get to dying. 
• The Lost Boys: I haven't watched this one in ages. I remember loving this movie in high school, quoting it endlessly, and having such a huge crush on Alex Winter. Honestly, the music hasn't aged well at all, but it's still a fun, bloody watch. The end kills are just awesome, and Keifer Sutherland is still one of the coolest vampires ever. Even with the age, the dialogue is still snappy, the blood still bloody, and it makes me miss California even more. Any movie with a grandpa that gives you taxidermied animals and kills the head honcho vamp with a truck and a fence post is up for Grandfather of the Year. 
• 28 Days Later: I haven't watched this one in forever too, so watching it was almost like watching it for the first time. I forget just how perfect this movie is, from the beautiful, haunting soundtrack, to the story, the scary infected, the actors, everything. Truly one of my favorites. Plus, Cillian Murphy is very high on my list. Argue if you must, but I am not sure I would count this as a zombie movie. I just can't make up my mind. Really, it doesn't matter. That rage virus is horrifying whether you attach the zed word to it or not. 
• 28 Weeks Later: I couldn't watch one without the other. The thing about these movies is they combine three of my favorite ideas - plague, end of civilization as we know it, and well, zombies (there, I said it). The sequel is not as good as the original, but I like how they didn't just retread like a lot of sequels do. Imogen Poots is beautiful (the sister), and I love Jeremy Renner. I'm interested to see what they do with the next one. 

Ubik by Philip K. Dick

I had a friend recommend Ubik to me, saying it's one of those books that leaves you saying, "what the hell just happened?" Well, he was right, because that's the exact reaction I had when I read the last paragraph. I can't get this book out of my head. 

I read a collection of Philip K. Dick short stories awhile back, and I really wasn't sure I would like another go around. His short stories just felt like too much of a "ta-da" ending, a la Twilight Zone, but I think that's because it was a whole lot of them all at once. Ubik was almost a whole other animal. Glen Runciter runs a business full of anti-telepaths that people hire to protect their secrets. On a trip to the moon, a bomb goes off and the real adventure begins. Who lived and who died? Reality starts to change, shifting backwards in time and soon you don't know what is going on or what is real and neither do the characters.

I want to say more about the plot, but I am afraid that giving too much away would spoil the greatness that is Ubik. I'll never doubt Philip K. Dick again, and dang it, now I have to accept that every time that friend recommends a book I should pay attention. I can't get this damn book out of my head, and I keep twisting and turning it about like maybe then I could figure it out. 

Rating:  5 Purrs for totally blowing me away

Recent Acquisitions to the Library

As you might expect, books and DVDs were plentiful under the Christmas tree this year. People know me oh so well. 

DVDs:

• Wall-E (BluRay)
• HellBoy II: The Golden Army (BluRay)
• The Dark Knight (BluRay)
• Cowboy Bebop Remix DVD set (Whee! Finally, Bebop of my very own!)

Books:

• The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams (Thanks LibraryThing Secret Santa!)
• The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror by Christopher Moore (Thanks LibraryThing Secret Santa!)
• The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-Town America by Bill Bryson
• I'm a Stranger Here Myself: Notes on Returning to America After 20 Years Away by Bill Bryson
• Loser Goes First: My Thirty-Something Years of Dumb Luck and Minor Humiliation by Dan Kennedy
• Rock On: An Office Power Ballad by Dan Kennedy
• Who the Hell Is Pansy O'Hara?: The Fascinating Stories Behind 50 of the World's Best Loved Books by Jenny Bond
• Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach
• Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach
• Desperate Passage: The Donner Party's Perilous Journey West by Ethan Rarick

Comics:

• Dead at 17: The 13th Brother by Josh Howard
• Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter: Guilty Pleasures, Vol. 1 (v. 1) by Laurell K. Hamilton
• DMZ Vol. 4: Friendly Fire by Brian Wood

World War Z!!!!!!!!! Why did I not know about this???

The guy who headed up Quantum of Solace (while I thought it was good...not great), is also in charge of the movie adaptation of World War Z, one of my favorite books of the past year. If you haven't read the book, shame on you. It's more than just a zombie novel. It's a biting commentary on the world we live in and amazingly written. It actually brought me to tears in some parts.

But anyway, he says it's going to be huge - a huge scale. Which makes me so f*ckin' happy I want to puke. Like Bourne Identity meets zombies. Which could be really awesome or like House of the Dead. Which could be not so awesome but still watchable because I love/hated House of the Dead.

MTV movies has the comments.

X-Files Redux

Yesterday I caught up on this new show everyone has been telling me about. Fringe. It looked intriguing in the previews, but part of me said, enh. Looks like Alias (which I never really got into no matter how hard I tried) married The Eleventh Hour (which I did get into, the British version of course, and dang it I forgot to DVR the premiere of the US version last night), had a side affair with Lost and birthed the The X-Files all over again. Which yeah, I was pretty much right.

Which doesn't mean I am not totally, so much, OMG, Srsly in love with it. Cause I am.

I am so ashamed of myself. Where's my loyalty? I loved the X-Files. I even watched the horrid last two seasons. I've watched every single episode at least twice. I own them all on DVD. (The original DVD printings I might add, before they got so damn cheap.)

I'm sorry, Mulder & Scully. Really, I love Fringe and its adorable wide-eyed, expressionless Agent Olivia (I even love her name!) and baby-sitting Pacey in a completely different way than I love you.

Promise.

Pinky Swear.

The Mother of Tears: The Third Mother

For many, many years I waited in anxious anticipation to see the realization of a dream. Not the top of Mount Everest. Not the Aurora Borealis. Not the Grand Canyon (all though that was very cool). I waited for the completion of one of my favorite trilogies - the Three Mothers trilogy by Dario Argento. When I heard the day had finally come for him to make the final film in the trilogy, and it was going to star Asia Argento but also include a role for Daria Nicolodi, I just about wet my pants. I waited for Mother of Tears to come to theaters like most Star Wars geeks waited for Episode 1 (okay, I might have been one of those geeks too...but I didn't dress up). 

Mother of Tears starts off with the discovery of a mysterious box, sealed and chained to a coffin buried right outside of an old cemetery. The local priest sends it to the museum where Sarah Mandy and her colleague, Gisele, open the box to see what's inside. Kind of like Pandora, Sarah and her friend unleash hell on earth, with her friend getting the big old brunt of it right then and there. After narrowly escaping with her life, Sarah and her boyfriend, Michael, investigate. Who killed Gisele? Why are people going mad, committing great acts of violence in the streets, and committing suicide at an alarming rate? Who is the Mother of Tears and what does she want with Sarah Mandy?

I watched this DVD twice before writing this. When I first watched it, I was disappointed. Of course, I knew that I probably would be because most of Argento's recent work was just not what I loved in his early films. However, this first viewing was much more disappointing than I was expecting. So I knew I had to watch it again to really see what I liked and disliked, just to make sure I was seeing it for the film it was rather than the disappointment it was bound to be after so many long years of anticipation.

I warn you from here on there might be things I say that might spoil it for you - so beware.

First off, this movie is gory. I mean gory, gory, blood, guts, and gore. From the opening scene where Gisele bites it to the very end there are buckets of blood everywhere. And when I say blood, I mean blood, guts, maiming, eye gouging, self-mutilation, torture, and child death. It was downright disturbing the first time and didn't really seem any easier the second time around. The opening scene where Gisele gets killed involves her mouth being crushed with some sort of screwdriver thing, being sliced open, and strangled with her own guts. That's not the worst of it. I like gore. I like buckets of blood, but for some reason this time it just seemed like too much. Ugh. I did love the mouth thing with Gisele though. It looked way freaky.Plus the scene where Udo Keir bites it was just awesome. Chop chop, slice slice! Overall, all of this slice and dice reminds me of the images used opening credits (and others like them) - think Renaissance images of Hell. 

Second, this movie has its tense, suspenseful, and scary moments. When Sarah is returning to the room and hears Gisele being murdered, you do get  bit toward the edge of your seat, especially when the baboon starts stalking her. Baboons stalking anyone is scary. The building tension of Rome falling apart seems kind of silly at first but builds to a decent tension by the end. The scene in the train bookstore where the police detective is leaning right into her and not seeing her is well done. Honestly, though, the pacing seems a bit uneven to keep the tension and suspense going full on until the end. 

The acting in this movie is really varied; some of it is good and some of it borders on community theater. Asia Argento does a good job even though some of her lines are a bit silly ("don't leave me hanging," really?). The witches are just absurd - the gangs of witches roaming the train station act more like punk rockers out of a bad exploitation film or spoof  than spooky evil witches out of a horror film. Asia has much more chemistry with the guy playing the police detective (smoking hot police detective) than she does with the actor playing her boyfriend Michael. He's just awful. He overacts the part and just bumbles around. I think it's a major flaw because it is hard to stay "in the world" with him shouting and bumbling around. Udo Keir was awesome as always plus it was nice to see him again (he was also in Suspiria).  The actress playing the Mother really didn't have a whole lot to do other than stalk around naked, but the relish she shows when she is licking the tears off of a dying woman's face makes your skin crawl. Other than that, she is pretty sub par. (The brief appearance of Mater Lachrymarum in Inferno had more oomph to it than most of the scenes in this one - which spells bad news. The good thing is most of the other henchmen were creepy enough.)

What was missing - most of the atmosphere from the first two films in the trilogy. Suspiria had the psychedelic colors, and frantic editing, the spectacular death scenes. The whole movie felt like a dream. Inferno was more noir, and it had that awesome underwater room scene. Plus, you can't forget the amazing music by Goblin. It added such mood to the films. This time around there is only one scene with that kind of heavy color wash and most of the music is operatic. I miss the sound that Goblin gave the original. 

The ending just kind of fell flat for me. The final blood orgy scene just kind of felt, well, enh. I don't know what it was missing, but it was missing something. And the crawling through the pool of skeletons to get out just felt out of place (but very reminiscent of Phenomenon). Of course, the others had kind of wham, there's the end, endings too, so maybe that is par for the course. 

These first two movies were spooky. That's what made them so intriguing. This one seems to rely mostly on the gore without the spookiness. I miss the spookiness. 

Rating: 4 Purrs because I love the idea of the Argento family back together again but somehow the magic was missing this time. It's that ending. It's good and then enh. 

Susie, do you know anything about... witches?

My copy of Mother of Tears just arrived at Pandabob's office. Oh how I wish I were over there so I could rip the package open and watch it *right the hell now.*

Y The Last Man by Brian K Vaughn, Pia Guerra, Jose Marzan, Jr.

I picked up the first few trades of Y The Last Man because Whitney from Pop Candy (USA Today's pop culture blog) recommended it in a post about great comics to pick up and read. I read the first trade and then promptly put it down. I knew then that I couldn't read any more until Brian K Vaughn had decided to end the series. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop reading once I started, and you know, I was right. I picked up the last trade in the Y series a month or so ago, and then read them all as quickly as possible in two nights' sitting. I just couldn't stop, they were so good. 

In Y The Last Man, Yorick is just your average, out of work college graduate. Nobody special. He likes books (lit major, got to love it).He also happens to be the only surviving male on the planet after a plague wipes every other man or animal out that has the Y chromosome. Well, outside of Ampersand, the monkey he was training. For some reason he survived too. And now, Yorick and Ampersand join forces with Agent 355 (a government agent sworn to protect him) and Dr. Alison Mann (the woman who might have started the plague and hopefully can find a cure) to make it across country to Dr. Mann's lab to find out why Yorick survived.  It seems like it might be simple, except there are crazy ultra-feminists calling themselves Amazons running in packs across the country, and they want to see Yorick dead. The Israelis want him to help rebuild Mother Israel. The rest of the country can't believe he's anything but a myth. Yorick just wants to find his girlfriend, Beth, who happens to be trapped in the Australian Outback. Will he ever find Beth? Will Dr. Mann save the future of human kind? Will the world rebuild itself? Who started the plague?

The story really just pulls you along, but of course I really like armageddon, end of the world type stories. The Amazons drove me nuts, but you can imagine how society would fall apart when struck with something so random. (Now, I'm not saying the ladies can't take care of themselves. They most certainly can. It just shows you that it's not only the Y chromosomes of the species that can make you drink the Kool-Aid.) Yorick is a funny guy, and I love all of the literary references that end up in the different stories. The art in these comics is really lovely. 

Really, I can't recommend these enough. I loved them. Now I am just sad that it is over. The ending of the series was really the best way to end it, but now I am sad. I know Yorick's story had to end sometime, but I can't help but feel wistful. Phooey that it's over. Maybe Ex Machina (another Vaughan series) will fill the void.