The Sherlockian by Graham Moore

I really liked The Sherlockian. Once again, my paperback book club recommended a good one.

In The Sherlockian, Graham Moore brings us a new Sherlock Holmes mystery, but instead of Holmes being the hero we have Arthur Conan Doyle and Harold White. Moore tells us two tales - one of the past and one of the present. In the past, Moore asks what really happened to bring Conan Doyle back to write about Sherlock Holmes after killing him off in "The Final Problem." What brought him back to writing about the detective he was all too happy to kill off? Was it a new mystery he decided to help Scotland Yard solve? In the present, Harold White is a member of the Baker Street Irregulars, a Sherlock enthusiast society. At their yearly convention, one of their members has been murdered after he announces he has found the lost Arthur Conan Doyle diary that tells all - why Doyle resurrected Holmes in the first place. Harold takes it upon himself (with a little prodding from one of Doyle's living relatives) to discover why the member was killed and find the diary - the holy grail of sorts to his group. Who killed him? Was it one of his fellow Irregulars? Where did the diary go? What's in it?

Moore really does a nice job of leading the reader through both time lines, flipping back and forth between the two with ease. Doyle and his sidekick Bram Stoker parallel Harold and Sarah in the present day, both drawing on their knowledge of Holmes and how he would solve a mystery so that they can solve theirs. I love Sherlock Holmes, and this way I got one more story, sort of. I really liked Harold the amateur detective. Instead of asking "What would Jesus do?" Harold asks, "What would Sherlock do?" Sort of funny, but it works. I found myself much more interested in how he was going to solve the modern day mystery than Conan Doyle & Stoker in their suffrage/multiple female homicide mystery. It's just cute to imagine this scruffy, nerdy guy pining after his sidekick Sarah and seeking out clues like Sherlock Holmes does. (Even though I will confess to imagining Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock more often than not...)

The Sherlockian is a quick, easy read, one that kept me turning the pages up until the somewhat bittersweet ending. I found it really enjoyable. If you like Sherlock Holmes mysteries, you might give The Sherlockian a whirl.

Rating: 4 1/2 purrs for a very enjoyable just this side of a beach read mystery

Red Lights

I don't remember how I found Red Lights - probably on a list of horror movies coming out soon somewhere. It's a decent, if slow, thriller, and very European.

In Red Lights, Dr. Margaret Matheson (Sigourney Weaver) and her partner, Tom Buckley (Cillian Murphy) are paranormal investigators who spend their time visiting supposed paranormal phenomenon & locations to weed out frauds using what Matheson calls "Red Lights," or supernatural trickery. The story opens with them visiting a haunted home only to debunk it rather quickly after a seance and that leads to the main plot - is the psychic Simon Silver (Robert De Niro) the real deal or not? He's been in hiding for years, and now has appeared to do a few shows before retirement. Buckley is anxious to investigate and Matheson is curiously not interested. There's a little bit of a break between the two as Buckley struggles with the whys and goes off on his own, only to be faced with many curious events - birds smashing in to windows, electronics going haywire, etc. Eventually, Silver consents to testing, and soon the truth comes out. I won't tell you what it is, because it was a surprise to me. (There could be reasons for that though...as I had trouble keeping interested in the plot.)

This movie didn't really hold my attention until the end. I don't know if it was just too slow, or too disjointed, or what, but I really wasn't engrossed until it got into the last 30 minutes or so. Then I was riveted. So much so that I rewound the movie to catch something when JudoMaster started talking. Before that, it was sort of like blah blah, debunk, blah, Elizabeth Olsen, blah. Maybe I just expected a faster pace? Maybe they cut out too much in editing? I don't know. I'd like to say it was worth sitting through the first hour to get to the last 30 minutes, but I don't know that it was. It had its moments, but the revelation at the end wasn't terribly shocking. Although the special effects were good, and Hello - Sigourney Weaver, Robert De Niro, Cillian Murphy, and Elizabeth Olsen, well, it just wasn't enough.

I don't mean for you to not see it, but I don't know that I can recommend it as much as say, The Orphanage or House of Voices - two other European horror flicks that are spooky and able to keep my attention through out. It wasn't bad, but it really wasn't great either.

Rating: 3 Purrrs for all of that star power

The House at the End of the Street

 If you know me at all, you know that I will watch just about any horror movie there is. When I saw that Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Shue were in The House at the End of the Street, well, I figured, sure. Why not? JudoMaster is out of town so let's go see a scary movie! I don't care that it's not getting great ratings. Let's see it anyway!

In The House at the End of the Street, Sarah (Elizabeth Shue) & Elissa (Jennifer Lawrence) are just moving in to a new neighborhood and it's pretty obvious that there is some estrangement between the two. The new house is right on the edge of a national forest and right next to a spooky house where no one is supposed to be living,because of course, something really bad happened there. Like some family was killed sort of bad. So when Momma Shue sees a light on in the upstairs late, late one night, she's gotta wonder, who's in the house? Katniss, I mean Elissa, is curious and stumbles upon the son of the family who lived there, who of course the whole community hates because the tragedy has lowered their property values (thank you shallow middle class folks for being so considerate and caring and two dimensional). As you would expect, Elissa just can't believe that this good looking older yet weird guy could be bad in any way, so against Momma Shue's orders, she starts sneaking around to see him. Then the real fun begins. Then you get to find out what really happened in the house all those years ago when the daughter murdered her parents and the son came home. It's not as straight forward as you might think. The ending - twisty. I'd compare it to another movie that shocked the pants off me, but then I'd spoil it for ya, and who wants that?

Let's be honest here. THatEotS is really more of a thriller than a horror movie. It's a good thriller, better than say, an awful Ashley Judd movie I paid to see in the theater called Twisted. It's not Black Swan worthy, but it does have a tense ending that you don't see coming until they start to play it out. I figured it out after one scene towards the end, but  until then I was clueless. Jennifer Lawrence is good with what she has to work with, as I would expect. (Seriously, I was so happy when I saw Hunger Games to see that they cast someone who could do more than stare at the camera with one expression.) And she sings! What a lovely voice she has. And who doesn't love seeing Elizabeth Shue? I wish we saw a bit more of her but she & Ms. Lawrence played off each other well. Max Theroit as the boy next door was a decent vulnerable, hated by the world pariah but I didn't think he had much chemistry with JL. Could be because I had a hard time forgetting My Soul to Take and his dorky character Bug.

Overall, I wasn't disappointed in seeing it, but I wasn't blown away either. I'd probably watch it again when it comes out on cable but I wouldn't buy it. Not sure it would be as good if you already know the ending.

Rating: 3.5 Purrrss. Momma Shue! Katniss sings! Surprise ending and good tense final scenes, but not as tightly put together as I'd like.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Gillian Flynn is one of my very favorite writers. She writes stories of broken, imperfect people who just don't care that they are broken. They accept that they will never be super models, never find Prince Charming, and probably never be anything but that crazy mix of imperfection that they are. Most of the time, they aren't even what you would call "likable." Even so, she takes all of that and creates a set of characters that you get wrapped up in, despite the fact that you may not like them all that much. To me, that's talent. These aren't lovable Dexter-type characters that make you like them with their hidden hearts of gold. These are people you have a hard time even seeing a glint of shine anywhere, even in their decent moments. Gone Girl is the third book I have read by Ms. Flynn. From page one I was riveted. I could not read it before bed because if I did there was no way I was sleeping before I finished it. I loved the story so much I wanted to drag it out some, chapter at a time. Otherwise it would be too long a wait until her next one and the story would end too soon.

Gone Girl is about Amy and Nick. It's their 5th wedding anniversary, and Nick comes home to find Amy missing and the house a mess. Did someone take her? Did he kill her? The story is broken up into the two viewpoints and time lines, separate books and sections that take you though the first moments of Nick & Amy's relationship all the way to the end. My advice is to not read ahead on those, let the story unfold on its own without any clues. Hear Nick's voice as he discovers Amy gone and hear her voice in her diary pages. Slowly uncover who these two people are to each other, who they were, and where they go. Seriously, it's like peeling an onion,and each layer is full of things you are happy to learn but also wish you didn't know. You start off in the first section with all of these doubts, and every page after that just  brings more doubt, darkness, and twists so that you really don't know where you will end up. I've never been so manipulated when reading a book, well, since Will Lavender's books (his books are what made me add the "mindf*ck" tag to this blog), and I loved every freaking second of it. I want to say more, but I don't want to give anything away. Just know that the Nick & Amy you meet at the beginning are not who you end up with at the end. And seriously, I didn't see it coming. Not by a long shot. But I do think it's one of those imperfect, perfect tales that show no matter how well you think you know someone, or know some one's relationship, you can never truly know what's in their hearts & minds.

I love Gillian Flynn. I love what her amazing brain comes up so much I almost don't want to read her books just so I can read them for the first time. I only wish she could write faster so I could read something new from her every month. 

Rating: 5 Purrrrrs. More Please!!

Under the Dome by Stephen King

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I pretty much grab up the newest Stephen King books right as they hit the shelves. I am a bit of an addict that way. Under the Dome was no exception, except in one small way. It took me forever to finish it.

So what's it about? One day the small town of Chester's Mill, Maine is going about its business like any other day when all of a sudden something unusual appears (if you guessed a gigantic dome, you get a cookie). The town is completely cut off from the outside world. People die. What happens to a small town where everyone knows each other but now they are cut off? Do they trust each other? Do they help each other out? Not if you are in Stephen King's world.

It's not that I didn't enjoy it. I really did, once I got about half-way through. It was getting half-way that was the hard part. Well, that and the fact that the book is impossibly huge, and when you like to take the book you are reading everywhere, well, War and Peace sized books just don't get put in the computer bag. It took awhile to get the story rolling, and honestly i kept getting flashbacks to The Stand. (Cell did as well but it seemed to not bother me as much.) I actually put it aside for awhile and came back to it after a month or two. When I came back to it, I sped through it. Maybe it was just timing. It also felt a lot like this old movie I saw when I was younger, but to say any more would give away the twist, and I just can't do that.

I would recommend this if you are a King fan, but if you are looking for an end of the world type tale, I would say check out The Stand first. It's still my favorite.

Rating: 4 Purrs

- Posted using BlogPress from Bruce

Taroko Gorge by Daniel Ritari

Taroko Gorge is another one of those books I was lucky enough to get via LibraryThing's Early Reviewers group. There are good things and bad things about this group, and Taroko Gorge is definitely one of those good things. When I read the write up, I thought this sounds like Picnic at Hanging Rock. I love that movie. While Taroko Gorge didn't end up being a retread of Picnic after all, it still ended up being a very worthwhile read. I was surprised that this was a first novel. In fact, when I saw that it was, I lowered my expectations a bit. I shouldn't have. It was quite good.

Taroko Gorge has many narrators, all telling their version of events leading up to and after the disappearance of three Japanese schoolgirls at the Taiwanese state park Taroko Gorge. Did they fall into the gorge, down a hole, were they murdered? You have the two Americans, one a reporter and his photographer who seem to be the last to have seen the girls, the Japanese class rep who had a crush on one of the girls, a girl who lived in their shadow, and the Taiwanese detective who leads the search for the missing girls all telling the story from their perspectives. Where did the girls go? Are they alive or is all hope lost?

I really liked the different voices, the multiple nationalities all dealing with various prejudices and traditions in hopes of doing what is right. It felt very true, well researched, and the mystery kept me interested until the very end. In the end, found or not, everyone will be changed just from being there,waiting to see. It was a nice mix of traditions, how they can lead to prejudice and misunderstanding, and a mystery. The setting was interesting but not quite enough of a character to be the mysterious Hanging Rock. The characters were developed but not overly so. I knew enough in minimal discussion enough to care about them and their actions.

Overall, I liked this book quite a bit. I read it quickly, not because it was overly simple, but because I wanted to find out what was happening next. I wanted to find out about those girls, because in those short few chapters, I cared.

Rating: 4 Purrs for drawing me in and keeping me guessing. For showing the turmoil of teenage life and the human existence. For giving a very good first novel when expected far less.


- Posted using BlogPress from Bruce

Splice

I have been pretty excited about Splice for awhile, from way back when I first read about it in EW ages ago. When I saw it was coming to a theater near me, I was thrilled. I ended up pleased but not overwhelmingly so. It was good, and had potential, but it wasn't the movie I had in my head.

Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody are two rock star geneticists. They create some weird creatures that create proteins for a pharmaceutical company, and they want to go on to splice with the human genome. When told no, they do what normal movie scientists would do. They go there. As these things go, of course it was a bad decision. Regret and bloodshed ho!

All in all, I loved the ultra trendy scientists, the idea, etc., but it felt slow towards the middle. I expected more action and bloodshed a la James Cameron's Aliens and instead got slow burning drama a la Ridley Scott's Alien. It's not a bad thing, I just expected something different. Sarah Polley was a wonderful cross between Lady MacBeth and Dr. Frankenstein. I loved the mixed parallels. It telegraphed too much though, so when it went full throttle to the end I knew fairly well how this would play out.

Rating: 4 Purrs for a horror movie that didn't tread a whole lot of new ground but did make it fun while it lasted.

Sumner Island by Michael Cormier

I got a copy of Sumner Island by Michael Cormier as an early reviewer's copy. It's a first novel, and honestly, it wasn't too bad. I thought I was getting a spooky ghost story, but what I got was more like a cross between Somewhere in Time and The Sixth Sense. In fact, I spent the majority of the first part of the novel trying to convince myself it wasn't a retread. Luckily, it picked up towards the end and I got absorbed into the story along the way.

Mitch Lambert is a history professor who, while writing the biography of Maria Boudreau, falls in love with the long-dead heiress. His book increases interest in Maria, and soon people are seeing her ghost walking the island where she was murdered. Mitch believes the man who was accused of her murder was innocent, and is determined to discover the real killer when a psychic comes to the island to have a seance. Along the way, Mitch begins to see things he shouldn't, a sort of time-travel thing, and plays detective. Will he solve the mystery? What do you do when you love someone who has been dead for years?

It wasn't bad, it wasn't mind-blowing. I felt like the ending was a bit of a let down, too neatly tied up I guess. I can't say for sure, but I think I would have enjoyed it more if I had gotten what I was expecting - a haunted house story. Instead I got a supernatural romance thriller, which was a good read, just not what I was looking for. Go into with the right frame of mind and I think you would enjoy it.

Rating: 3 1/2 Purrs

The Night Country by Stewart O'Nan

Stewart O'Nan is one of those authors that captures a moment in time so well and creates such a feeling of place and character. I read The Speed Queen first, because my other half bought it way back when we were in college and he said I really needed to read it. I read Last Night at the Lobster, and it too was perfection. The Night Country wasn't a disappointment at all, although I am not really sure why people classify it as horror.

A year ago, a group of teenagers died in a car wreck on Halloween. Their spirits live on, haunting those they left behind: the cop who has a secret, the survivor, the mother of the survivor marred forever by the wreck. As the anniversary of the wreck draws near, you learn how their lives have changed and know that each is trying to commemorate it in his or her own way. In some ways, they are trying to move on, in others, they can't.

O'Nan creates this world where it makes sense that ghosts are along side us, whispering in our ears. He's able to include those voices without seeming silly or hammy. His characters are sympathetic, and all of the story leads to this reveal at the end that I literally couldn't stop reading. It's touching, life-affirming, and terribly tragic all at once, all without ever being cheesy or resorting to the stereotypical. It's lovely.

Rating: 5 Purrs

Sweetheart & Evil at Heart by Chelsea Cain

Mmmm, mmm. I love me some serial killer fiction. I read Chelsea Cain's debut novel, Heartsick, pretty much right after it came out but then left Sweetheart on the shelf for forever until the 3rd in the series, Evil at Heart, showed up. Then I tore through the 2nd and 3rd books pretty quickly (but honestly, that's partly because of enjoying the story so much and partially because they were pretty easy reads).

In Sweetheart, Archie is back to investigate the murder or accidental death of a state senator and a newspaper man, all the while trying but not really trying to keep Gretchen Lowell out of his head and at bay. At the end, Gretchen escapes, and no one is safe.

In Evil at Heart, Gretchen is free and Archie is in a mental institution. Someone starts killing in Gretchen Lowell's style, and the police are on Archie to investigate. (He's sort of a hero, and Gretchen is a media darling at this point.) Is it Gretchen or is it a copycat? How does Archie's past play into it? Will they catch Gretchen Lowell and will it kill Archie to do so?

If you can't tell, I really liked the third book better than the second, although I liked them both quite a bit. The second felt like it went a little fast and felt a little thin on plot, while the third was better because Gretchen was there, but there was this interesting connection between Archie and the new murders that kept my interest. The speech the writer gives in the newspaper room is just perfect. I wanted to fist pump. The end was one I couldn't put down.

If you like serial killer fiction, then you should check out The Beauty Killer series. It's like the Clarice and Lecter relationship but with a female serial killer and male cop.

Rating: 4 Purrs - I can't wait for the next one.

Audition by Ryu Murakami

I have to say right off that I am a huge fan of the movie Audition by Miike, and when I saw that I won a free early reviewers copy of the novel I literally clapped my hands.

Audition is about a widower named Aoyama, who after many years has decided to take the advice of his son and try to find a new wife. To do so he teams up with a buddy to hold auditions for a movie in hopes that one of the girls who auditions for the lead role might be his new wife. He meets Yamasaki Asami, a shy girl who captures his attention and of course he falls head over heels in love. Despite his friend's concern he pursues her, only to find out there are worse things than being alone at 40.

The movie followed the book pretty closely, only the book really gives you much more why behind it all. Let me tell you some of the imagery is downright gruesome and beautifully written. Miike certainly made it his own when he made the movie, but the book was well worth the read, even knowing how it all turns out.

Rating: 5 Purrs because once it starts rolling it just doesn't give up.

Thirst (Bakjwi)

Thirst was in a word, Wow. I had heard very good things about it, but I wasn't really sure. I mean I have seen a lot of Asian horror, so they all sort of run together at this point. However, Thirst really stood out for its combination of sexy and eerie without resorting to the sexy vampire stereotype.

Sang-hyun is a priest who volunteers for a medical experiment in hopes of helping find a cure for a deadly disease. Instead, he gets more than he bargained for. In fact, he gets some tainted blood that turns him into a vampire, and then gets pulled into helping an old friend try to escape her unhappy marriage and family ties. He struggles with his new inhumanity and his infatuation with the woman from his childhood.

This movie was so much not what I expected. It's a lot less horror in the traditional gore, slash & dice sort of way and much more in the line of beautiful thriller. That white painted apartment is simply beautiful.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone who liked Let The Right One In. This is much more like that than say, Near Dark.
Rating: 4 1/2 Purrs

Perfume: The Story of a Murder by Patrick Suskind

I bought this book because I heard about the movie and it sounded very interesting. I ended up reading it very quickly, as it was very, very engrossing. Of course, it is a story about a serial killer, which if you know me makes complete sense as to why I would really enjoy it .

Perfume is about Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, a child born in the filth of 18th-century Paris. He has no scent of his own, but he has an amazing nose and files every scent away in his head. He decides to apprentice to a perfumer so he can learn to capture scent. Specifically, the scents of certain young girls. Funny how those young girls mostly have red hair, are beautiful, and are virgins.

It's a creepy subject, but the character is just as good as Hannibal Lecter, except instead of cannibalism, this guy just wants to keep your smell around, which you know actually seems a wee bit creepier.

The book was beautifully written, with some very vivid imagery. The movie totally did the book justice, and honestly I wasn't sure if it would be able to do so. I liked them both, quite a bit.

Rating: 4 1/2 Purrs

Carriers

I don't remember precisely how I stumbled across this gem of a film, but boy am I glad I did. Of course, I do tend to like those end of the world, everybody is dead from a global pandemic sort of media. I'm not sure exactly why. I mean, I'm a people person, right? I am good with people.

Anyway, Carriers opens up with four friends driving to the beach. Brian, Bobby, Danny, and Kate aren't really going for a good time though. They are trying to avoid infection, at any cost, which means when a stranger asks for gas, you have to really wonder if it's worth it to stop and help. There are rules to survive, gas is scarce, and anyone infected is a liability. The question really is, what is it to survive? Is it worth losing your humanity? Can you have compassion and survive a world where the touch of a stranger could kill you?

The Pastor brothers do a very nice job directing. Chris Pine plays pretty much the same character he always does, but I can't complain. It fits here. Piper Perabo is yummy. They filmed this mostly in New Mexico I believe, and I'm always for seeing more of that on film.

I expected a horror film, and what I got was more along the lines of a drama. I'm not complaining, mind you. I always like those stories that examine just how far people might go to survive. This could have gone deeper, could have gone darker, but for a 80-ish minute long movie, it did nicely.

Rating: 4.5 Purrs

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

“Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs.”

This review should probably start with if you haven’t read Gillian Flynn, then shame on you. Now after saying that, I must put in a caveat. If dark, moody, borderline icky plots disturb you, maybe you should avoid reading her. Because Dark Places is pretty much what this book is. It’s a dark place, alright.

Libby Day was 7 when her brother murdered her entire family with an axe and a shot gun. She ran from the killer and survived. Now, after 25 years, a group called The Kill Club wants to pay her for her memories, her family heirlooms, and her help in proving that the testimony she gave when she was 7 years old was wrong. They believe her brother did not kill her family, and they want her help proving it. Libby agrees, especially since they will pay her, and her trust fund is running out. She can’t get a job and she doesn’t want one, so why not? Did her brother kill her family? Was it her alcoholic father? Was it someone else?

Libby is a broken, hurting woman, even if she doesn’t want to truly admit it to herself. Gillian Flynn seems to specialize in these types of characters, and she does a good job creating them. Libby grows, and I enjoyed watching her grow without losing who she was in the beginning.
The story flows from present day, following Libby as she uncovers the truth about her family, piece by piece, and into various chapters narrated by Libby’s mother and brother in the days leading up to the murders. You learn the truth as Libby does, and see it from both sides: Libby as she uncovers it and from the involved actors as well. It’s a very effective way to narrate the story. It’s not new, but I liked it.

Like I said before, Gillian Flynn is one of my new favorite authors. Sharp Objects blew me away. Dark Places definitely did not disappoint. This woman cannot write fast enough for me.

Rating: 5 Purrs for writing the best novel I have read in a while. It kept me engrossed and turning the pages for hours.

Strangers on a Train by Patricia Highsmith

I will admit to finding Patricia Highsmith only after The Talented Mr. Ripley became a movie, but I have been slowly but steadily buying her books used very since. Strangers on a Train is her first novel, and it is a remarkable one. Most first novels you read end up being iffy, with promise but that certain tinge of not quite polished prose. Strangers on a Train had so little of that feel that I struggle to even remember it. Mr. Hitchcock liked it so much he felt compelled to make a movie out of it and we know Hitch knows his suspense.

In SoaT, Guy is just a guy (heh) who would really like to get a divorce from his poorly chosen first marriage so he can marry the sweet, rich girl of his dreams. (He really loves her; it's not a money thing.) He is taking the train back to his hometown to finally file the papers, and on this trip he meets Buddy, a spoiled rich kid who has it all but thinks his father is in between him and happiness. Buddy invites Guy back to his train compartment to have dinner and a drink, and Guy reluctantly accepts. It's probably the worst decision he ever made. You see, Buddy is a sociopath who feels he has hatched the fool-proof plan for murder. He tells Guy you kill my dad, and I will kill your medlesome wife. No one will ever know. It'll be great. Guy is horrified, and what follows is one of the tautest thrillers I have read.

Highsmith really knows how to show a man completely dissolve all of himself. She shows him lose everything that is pure and hopeful, and makes it so real you know it could happen to you. That's why I love her work. The heroes in her stories aren't perfect; they are everyman. You could be there; you could be that person, clinging desperately to sanity and hope but all the while knowing it is over. She starts that path in Strangers on a Train. It is an excellent one.

Rating: 5 Purrs for a brilliant first novel

The Last House on the Left (remake)

I loved the original Last House on the Left. Wes Craven truly was a seriously horrific stroyteller back in the 70's and 80's. The Hills Have Eyes, Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Serpent and the Rainbow are some of my favorite horror movies. I loved the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. It didn't change much, and it felt very gritty and gross, just like the original. Luckily, the people responsible for the remake of The Last House on the Left took a page out of that book and kept the feeling, flavor, and horror of the original and made a great movie.

Mari and her parents have come up to their lake house to spend the summer, and Mari soon borrows the car to go meet her summer friend Paige to hang out and just be teenagery together. If you have ever watched a horror movie, you know this bodes not well for the two girls. They soon meet Justin, a hapless underage kid trying to buy cigarettes. The girls go back to hang out with Justin at his hotel, and unfortunately for them, Krug and the Gang show up and they are none too happy. Once the girls are tortured, raped, and sliced and diced, the gang takes refuge at Mari's lake house, where Mari's unsuspecting parents take them in during a horrible storm. Soon the parents discover just who their guests are and what they have done, and that's when the good stuff happens. Beware the parents who must fight for their child. They seek vengeance, y'all, and boy is it bloody. It's pure gore, sloppy violence. None of this insta-hero with super strength suddenly becoming Rambo. These people discover a revenge streak they never knew they had, and even thouogh they are clumsy, fall over, get beaten up, they still keep fighting. It's glorious.

I really thought the actors were excellent. Krug and the Gang (ha ha) really are creepy and Justin is such a sad character. The violence is truly horrific, although I remember the original being a bit more violent regarding the torture of the two hapless teenagers. The rape scene is awful; I couldn't watch it at all. My eyes were closed and I had my ears shut as tight as they could be. I watched the unrated version, so maybe the rated wasn't as bad. Let's just say it made my skin crawl right off. If you can get past all of that build up, all of that tension, the last half of the movie is well worth the wait. Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter exact a revenge worth watching, and I cheered as the bad guys had the tables turned on them.

If you can make it through the torture scenes, you might enjoy this one. I am glad I watched it, but I won't be watching it again. It was just too much to get through that lead up.

Rating: 4 1/2 Purrs for making me really uncomfortable and then giving me a chance to cheer for the good guys as they kick ass.

The Happening

I avoided The Happening like the plague until it finally came on HBO and I DVRd it. I really wish, after watching it all the way through, mouth agape in wonder at how bad a movie could possibly be, that I could hunt Mr. Sixth Sense down and ask him for my hour and a half back. I mean, I have seen bad movies. I enjoy bad movies. I watch them with relish. Usually, those movies are so bad they are good. Even Manos, Hands of Fate was worthy of watching, simply because the MST3K guys made watching it enjoyable. I am sad to say that I doubt even those guys could make The Happening worth watching again. I think my mistake wasn’t hunting down a RiffTrax or Cinematic Titanic track to watch with it. Then maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t be so bitter about the 1.5 hours this movie cost me. I don’t know though. Maybe not.

What I liked about this movie. Hm. That’s a tough one. Is there anything? Well, there were some scenes that could have been truly disturbing. Unfortunately, they were all in the trailer. The images of people throwing themselves off of buildings, hanging from trees, and all other forms of mass suicide could have been horrific, if they were in the hands of a more capable director. Unfortunately, they weren’t.

I could take that leap of faith and think that Marky Mark Walberg was intelligent enough to actually teach a junior high science class. If I squinted enough and just jumped right in there and suspended that disbelief, I could believe that two people, one of whom is a favorite actress (Zooey Deshanel) could be married, despite a complete lack of chemistry. I mean, a complete lack. None. In fact, I often wondered if they were in the same movie, shooting the same scenes together, seeing as so much of it is shot in single actor frames, sort of like how no one believes Pacino and DeNiro were in Heat together because they never seemed to be in the same frame. Seriously, so much of the movie was shot in these single actor frames I wonder if anyone was actually shooting the same scene at the same time.

So much of the plot was telegraphed early one that I can't help but think I would have known the big a-ha twist even if it hadn't been spoiled for me but dozens of others. I mean, at the beginning, one of the kids in Marky Mark's science class says, "An act of nature, and we'll never fully understand it." I think Mr. Sixth Sense thought he was being profound, but you know, not really. And when I heard it I knew it would come back around. And guess what. It did. And when it did, I seriously eye-rolled my whole body. I half-way expected some big drum roll in the background.

I don't think this movie was supposed to make me laugh, but it did. Out loud. I almost cried I laughed so hard. I seriously wonder if any of the actors read the script before signing on, and if they did, what on Earth possessed them to go ahead and sign up? If not, did they fire their agents after reading the script? And how on Earth did anyone greenlight this project? I want to find out who it was and punch them right in the baby-maker. Yes, yes I do.

If you want to watch a ludicrous killer plant movie, watch something better, like Day of the Triffids. Or better yet, read the book. It's a better use of your time than this painful. heavy-handed, oh-so-dramatic drivel. I swear this is the absolute last time I watch a M. Night Shyamalan movie. I have now been burned bad enough to take no more chances.

Rating: Can I give more than 5 hisses? Cause I would. Hell, it's my blog. Hisses to the infinite power for this one.

Severance Package by Duane Swierczynski

Severance Package by Duane Swierczynski (besides having the hardest name ever in the world to type) is another one of those Quality Paperback Book club books that I bought on a whim, and after losing my job a couple of months ago, found even funnier and more full of black comedy than maybe if I were still working. It was truly an enjoyable book - dark, bloody, funny, and so, so satirical it almost burns like razor burn.

One hot Saturday in August, the boss has called in his key personnel into the office for a 9 AM meeting. No one knows why, least of all Jamie Debroux, who has been out the last month on paternity leave. After all, he's not really part of the inner circle; he's just a press writer. When he shows up, the conference room is stocked full of cookies, orange juice, and champagne, and the Knox, the boss, announces something very unexpected. It seems the business is a front for the intelligence community, and they are being shut down. In intelligence-speak, that means everybody has to die. They can choose to drink the mimosas and die quietly, or get a bullet in the head. Naturally, all hell breaks lose, because well, Jamie was in the dark, but not everyone else was. It's a fight to the death, with the clique making more alliances than a season of Prison Break, and no one knowing who to trust. Will Jamie survive to see his family again? You have to read to find out.

Like I said, it's very fun. Think film noir crossed with The Bourne Identity and Quentin Tarantino. It's bloody, characters are simply drawn but end up not being who you thought they were when you first meet them, and it's fairly tightly written. Overall, I would recommend it. It's not brilliant piece of literature, but it's higher on the scale than a worthwhile beach read.

Rating: 4 Purrs for a fast, page turning read. I read this puppy in maybe 8 hours.

Deep Red

Dario Argento is hands down the director that got me from watching regular Americanized horror movies and into watching foreign films. Argento was my gateway drug, so to speak. Suspria was the first one I saw. Deep Red was the second, and then I was hooked. Truly, seriously hooked.

Deep Red is a giallo, full of the traditional bright red blood, the over-the-top murders, and the beautiful art direction and use of color. The story this time around is a psychic is conducting a show and in the process ends up reading the mind of a murderer. David Hemmings witnesses her murder (the brutal, bloody kind of course), and ends up getting involved with Daria Nicoldi, playing the intrepid news hound, to help solve the murder. Whose mind did the psychic read? Who killed her? Will David and Daria figure out the true story and solve the crime without getting killed?

I love the brilliant color use here. You can tell Argento was looking towards Suspiria and it’s beautiful use of color. I also can’t help but love the Edward Hopper reference there at the beginning with the “blue bar” scene. The murders and the mystery are actually pretty good. The solution is hardly telegraphed throughout the movie at all. To top it off, you have a killer Goblin soundtrack. Man I love those guys.

Dario Argento really did some of his best work at this time. Deep Red is truly a classic.

Rating: 5 Purrs for one of my favorite films. Plus you gotta love a movie that was also named The Hatchet Murders.