The House at the End of the Street

 If you know me at all, you know that I will watch just about any horror movie there is. When I saw that Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Shue were in The House at the End of the Street, well, I figured, sure. Why not? JudoMaster is out of town so let's go see a scary movie! I don't care that it's not getting great ratings. Let's see it anyway!

In The House at the End of the Street, Sarah (Elizabeth Shue) & Elissa (Jennifer Lawrence) are just moving in to a new neighborhood and it's pretty obvious that there is some estrangement between the two. The new house is right on the edge of a national forest and right next to a spooky house where no one is supposed to be living,because of course, something really bad happened there. Like some family was killed sort of bad. So when Momma Shue sees a light on in the upstairs late, late one night, she's gotta wonder, who's in the house? Katniss, I mean Elissa, is curious and stumbles upon the son of the family who lived there, who of course the whole community hates because the tragedy has lowered their property values (thank you shallow middle class folks for being so considerate and caring and two dimensional). As you would expect, Elissa just can't believe that this good looking older yet weird guy could be bad in any way, so against Momma Shue's orders, she starts sneaking around to see him. Then the real fun begins. Then you get to find out what really happened in the house all those years ago when the daughter murdered her parents and the son came home. It's not as straight forward as you might think. The ending - twisty. I'd compare it to another movie that shocked the pants off me, but then I'd spoil it for ya, and who wants that?

Let's be honest here. THatEotS is really more of a thriller than a horror movie. It's a good thriller, better than say, an awful Ashley Judd movie I paid to see in the theater called Twisted. It's not Black Swan worthy, but it does have a tense ending that you don't see coming until they start to play it out. I figured it out after one scene towards the end, but  until then I was clueless. Jennifer Lawrence is good with what she has to work with, as I would expect. (Seriously, I was so happy when I saw Hunger Games to see that they cast someone who could do more than stare at the camera with one expression.) And she sings! What a lovely voice she has. And who doesn't love seeing Elizabeth Shue? I wish we saw a bit more of her but she & Ms. Lawrence played off each other well. Max Theroit as the boy next door was a decent vulnerable, hated by the world pariah but I didn't think he had much chemistry with JL. Could be because I had a hard time forgetting My Soul to Take and his dorky character Bug.

Overall, I wasn't disappointed in seeing it, but I wasn't blown away either. I'd probably watch it again when it comes out on cable but I wouldn't buy it. Not sure it would be as good if you already know the ending.

Rating: 3.5 Purrrss. Momma Shue! Katniss sings! Surprise ending and good tense final scenes, but not as tightly put together as I'd like.

Horrorfest 4

This year's entries into Horrorfest have been much better than past years.

• Dread: This one based on a Clive Barker story and stars a Cullen, but man it sure was icky. These college kids decide to run an experiment investigating people's biggest fears. Problem is, the ringleader just happens to be nuts, and he decides to make people face their biggest fears in hopes of learning how to cure his own. The paintings in this one were beautiful.
  
• The Final: The opening says this was based on a true story and it was filmed in McKinney and area up here in North Texas, so I can't help but like the story of a group of tormented high-schoolers who turn the tables on their bullies in most gruesome and psychological ways. One even wears an Audition costume, so of course I like it.
  
• Kill Theory: A group of long-time college friends head out to the lake to celebrate graduation, only to find themselves trapped by a psycho who says they must kill each other one by one and have one left standing at 6 AM or he will kill them all. This one was quite good. I can see why maybe it didn't make it to the theater but it is definitely worth a watch.
• The Graves: Sisters Megan and Abby Graves are taking a cross country trip before Megan starts a new job in New York. On the way, they decide to check out the road-side attraction called Skull City Mine. As these things go, they find something not so pleasant. Slicing and dicing and spooky stuff happens, and things get a bit disjointed towards the end, but I can't help but love a movie that has two goth girls who love comics and can kick ass.
  
• The Reeds: A group of Londonites take a weekend trip through the reeds of Norfolk on a hired boat. From the start, things get creepy, with the crochety old boat guy and the pesky teens that keep popping up here and there. It ends up in disaster and blood, and a mystery to be solved. It was quite good.
  
• Lake Mungo: A somewhat slow, creepy supernatural movie that deals with an Australian family's grief at losing their teenage daughter to drowning. It's shot documentary style. I was watching it by myself and I got a bit creeped out, so stick with it.
  
• Hidden: The foreign film entry into this year's horrorfest. A guy goes back home after his mother's death and faces the fears from his childhood. Someone is murdering people- is it a ghost, is it the boy from his childhood? It was spooky in places but also very slow.
  
• Zombies of Mass Destruction: Zombies! Need I say more? Yes, well then - zombies started by terrorists in a small town, gore and hilarity happens, boy comes out to mom, girl comes to term with her roots, brains get munched on.
  

Nightmare on Elm Street (remake)

The original Nightmare on Elm Street scared the hell out of me the first time I saw it. Freddy Krueger was terrifying. The idea of being attacked in your dreams, unable to wake up, unable to fall asleep because you might die. Yikes. The remake doesn't change much of that formula, which was nice, but it changed enough that it wasn't a complete retread.

Things I liked:

• I jumped several times in my seat. Sure it might have been because of the loud Boo! music, but I jumped.
  
• Kellen Lutz! The opening scenes with him are tense.
• They didn't puss out with Kreuger. I thought they were going to, but they didn't. If they had, I would have not liked this movie at all.
• Jackie Earle Haley. Wow. While he was pretty much replaying Rorschach, he does it well. Creepy.
• There were plenty of homages to the original, but not complete re-dos.
  

Things I didn't like:

• Why oh why don't they use real special effects any more? Why do movie makers these days feel so compelled to CGI the shit out of everything? I want real fake blood people. Not CGI blood. It never looks real.
  
• Why oh why does Nancy have to be emo chick? Why can't she be the sweet, scrubbed up teen like the first one?
  
• I hated her little booties she wore. Ugh. I know, I know. A shoe complaint in a horror movie. I'm a girl. Sue me.
• No Johnny Depp death scene. Not even close. Dang it.

Overall, it was a decent remake. You can't recreate the atmosphere of the original, no matter how hard you try, but these guys did a decent job of remaking Texas Chainsaw Massacre and they did a decent job this time. I would of paid full price for this one, but I am a bit of a horror junkie, as you know.

Rating: 4 Purrs

Sweetheart & Evil at Heart by Chelsea Cain

Mmmm, mmm. I love me some serial killer fiction. I read Chelsea Cain's debut novel, Heartsick, pretty much right after it came out but then left Sweetheart on the shelf for forever until the 3rd in the series, Evil at Heart, showed up. Then I tore through the 2nd and 3rd books pretty quickly (but honestly, that's partly because of enjoying the story so much and partially because they were pretty easy reads).

In Sweetheart, Archie is back to investigate the murder or accidental death of a state senator and a newspaper man, all the while trying but not really trying to keep Gretchen Lowell out of his head and at bay. At the end, Gretchen escapes, and no one is safe.

In Evil at Heart, Gretchen is free and Archie is in a mental institution. Someone starts killing in Gretchen Lowell's style, and the police are on Archie to investigate. (He's sort of a hero, and Gretchen is a media darling at this point.) Is it Gretchen or is it a copycat? How does Archie's past play into it? Will they catch Gretchen Lowell and will it kill Archie to do so?

If you can't tell, I really liked the third book better than the second, although I liked them both quite a bit. The second felt like it went a little fast and felt a little thin on plot, while the third was better because Gretchen was there, but there was this interesting connection between Archie and the new murders that kept my interest. The speech the writer gives in the newspaper room is just perfect. I wanted to fist pump. The end was one I couldn't put down.

If you like serial killer fiction, then you should check out The Beauty Killer series. It's like the Clarice and Lecter relationship but with a female serial killer and male cop.

Rating: 4 Purrs - I can't wait for the next one.

Horrorfest 2009

I was pleasantly surprised with the entries in this group of Horrorfest movies. (Well, outside of the exact same, endless trailers on each DVD.) I had little hope after last year's entries.

• Autopsy: Some college kids go to New Orleans to party and end up in the strange Mercy Hospital. The hospital is creepy, and I am a sucker for weird, deserted building movies. Plus you gotta love Terminator 2 alums Jenette Goldstein and Robert Patrick. The reviews said this was supposed to be an homage to Italian horror, but it really ended up just being a gore-fest.
  
• The Broken: Lena Headly rules in whatever she is in, and so of course I think this one might be my favorite on that alone. Thsi starts off like your classic doppelganger tale and turns into something, well, different.
  
• The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations: Okay, so I skipped this one. I just couldn't stomach another Butterfly Effect movie. Sorry.
  
• Dying Breed: This one had Leigh Wannell and the guy from Snakes on a Plane and Wolf Creek. It's set in Tasmania with a group of students searching for the elusive Tasmanian Devil. Unfortunately they find the descendants of the serial killer called The Pieman, rather than the animal they were looking for.
  
• From Within: This one was good. It's about a small town that has a rash of suicides. Is it a curse? Will their faith in God protect them?
  
• Perkins' 14: A cop is obsessed with his son's disappearance. Soon he realizes the guy in his jail just might be the guy who took him and 13 others. And they just might still be alive.
• Slaughter: A young woman is running from an abusive boyfriend and stumbles upon a new friend in a bar who is much more than she seems. She agrees to stay with her new friend, only to find out she may have traded an apartment in a new city to a place much more dangerous than the one she ran from.
• Voices: The Asian horror entry in the series, this one has a young girl whose friends and family turn on her, one after the other trying to kill her for no reason, following a history of "accidental" deaths that have plagued her family for generations. This one was based on a Korean comic book.

I liked these entries better but honestly I am ready for horror to return to being scary and not just being gory.

Audition by Ryu Murakami

I have to say right off that I am a huge fan of the movie Audition by Miike, and when I saw that I won a free early reviewers copy of the novel I literally clapped my hands.

Audition is about a widower named Aoyama, who after many years has decided to take the advice of his son and try to find a new wife. To do so he teams up with a buddy to hold auditions for a movie in hopes that one of the girls who auditions for the lead role might be his new wife. He meets Yamasaki Asami, a shy girl who captures his attention and of course he falls head over heels in love. Despite his friend's concern he pursues her, only to find out there are worse things than being alone at 40.

The movie followed the book pretty closely, only the book really gives you much more why behind it all. Let me tell you some of the imagery is downright gruesome and beautifully written. Miike certainly made it his own when he made the movie, but the book was well worth the read, even knowing how it all turns out.

Rating: 5 Purrs because once it starts rolling it just doesn't give up.

The Stepfather (1986) vs. The Stepfather (2009)

"Wait a minute, who am I here?"

I had only seen the original The Stepfather in bits and pieces, so naturally I couldn't watch the remake without seeing Terry O'Quinn in all of his glory (and surprisingly enough, all of his glory actually is onscreen at one point - Hello John Locke).

Both movies are pretty much the same: lonely mother of troubled child finds the man of her dreams, or so she thinks. Little does she know that Mr. Too Good To Be True is in fact, way too good to be true. Actually, when he realizes you and your family are not Leave It to Beaver, he will decide to murder you and the kids and move on to some other chick. In a nutshell, that's it.

Why is the first movie better than the remake? Well besides the fact that the original usually is, the Final Girl is named Stephanie, so of course I liked it best. How can I not? She's the troubled daughter who has this idea that new daddy dearest just isn't right somehow. Second, the tension between Jill Schoelen and Terry O'Quinn is very well played. She's not some eye candy with no acting ability (eyes you Stepfather remake), she acts like a teenager with a new stepfather a year after he dad died. It's believable. The opening scene where Terry O'Quinn is stripping his former self and getting ready to move on is chilling, especially when you get to the part where you realize the entire family is dead as he walks out the door, refreshed and peppy.

The sequel - well it had the mom with 3 kids, two of which are non-existent and the other is fresh out of military school (and Gossip Girl). None of which are interesting enough to hold your attention. The most interesting characters are the "aunts," the lesbian couple that actually show some true affection for each other (kudos to the writers for making their relationship subtle and kind, rather than some way to add salaciousness to the movie). Otherwise, you might as well sleep throughout the movie because there is no tension, little blood, and really no character worth caring about.

So, rent and watch the original Stepfather and skip the remake. Even the bikini scenes can't save that one.

Perfume: The Story of a Murder by Patrick Suskind

I bought this book because I heard about the movie and it sounded very interesting. I ended up reading it very quickly, as it was very, very engrossing. Of course, it is a story about a serial killer, which if you know me makes complete sense as to why I would really enjoy it .

Perfume is about Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, a child born in the filth of 18th-century Paris. He has no scent of his own, but he has an amazing nose and files every scent away in his head. He decides to apprentice to a perfumer so he can learn to capture scent. Specifically, the scents of certain young girls. Funny how those young girls mostly have red hair, are beautiful, and are virgins.

It's a creepy subject, but the character is just as good as Hannibal Lecter, except instead of cannibalism, this guy just wants to keep your smell around, which you know actually seems a wee bit creepier.

The book was beautifully written, with some very vivid imagery. The movie totally did the book justice, and honestly I wasn't sure if it would be able to do so. I liked them both, quite a bit.

Rating: 4 1/2 Purrs

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

“Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs.”

This review should probably start with if you haven’t read Gillian Flynn, then shame on you. Now after saying that, I must put in a caveat. If dark, moody, borderline icky plots disturb you, maybe you should avoid reading her. Because Dark Places is pretty much what this book is. It’s a dark place, alright.

Libby Day was 7 when her brother murdered her entire family with an axe and a shot gun. She ran from the killer and survived. Now, after 25 years, a group called The Kill Club wants to pay her for her memories, her family heirlooms, and her help in proving that the testimony she gave when she was 7 years old was wrong. They believe her brother did not kill her family, and they want her help proving it. Libby agrees, especially since they will pay her, and her trust fund is running out. She can’t get a job and she doesn’t want one, so why not? Did her brother kill her family? Was it her alcoholic father? Was it someone else?

Libby is a broken, hurting woman, even if she doesn’t want to truly admit it to herself. Gillian Flynn seems to specialize in these types of characters, and she does a good job creating them. Libby grows, and I enjoyed watching her grow without losing who she was in the beginning.
The story flows from present day, following Libby as she uncovers the truth about her family, piece by piece, and into various chapters narrated by Libby’s mother and brother in the days leading up to the murders. You learn the truth as Libby does, and see it from both sides: Libby as she uncovers it and from the involved actors as well. It’s a very effective way to narrate the story. It’s not new, but I liked it.

Like I said before, Gillian Flynn is one of my new favorite authors. Sharp Objects blew me away. Dark Places definitely did not disappoint. This woman cannot write fast enough for me.

Rating: 5 Purrs for writing the best novel I have read in a while. It kept me engrossed and turning the pages for hours.

Watch Instantly Day 2

I am currently addicted to watching horror movies on NetFlix Watch Instantly. I have been catching up on chores so I figure why not?

Here's today's haul:

Laid to Rest: This one ended up being a pretty decent slasher flick, surprisingly enough. A girl wakes up in a coffin with no idea who she is or where she is. She soon figures out that the guy in the Destro mask is out to kill her, and she must fight her way through this very small town to safety before he kills her. Lena Headley and Johnathan Schaech have small parts. The acting is good in this one. The plot isn't terribly original but the gore is rampant. Not bad for a rainy day.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus: You know you want to watch. You know you can't turn away. Nothing beats a movie that stars Debbie Gibson as an oceanographer who discovers the polar ice caps melting have released a giant octopus that devours oils rigs and a giant shark who leaps out of the ocean to snags planes from the air. This movie is epic. Debbie Gibson does science and stuff with test tubes! It even stars Lorenzo Lamas. How can you *not* watch it? I may have to buy this on DVD. It's so bad it's awesome.

Cold Prey: This Norwegian thriller is so very good. A group of friends go snowboarding off the beaten path to avoid the lines and tourists. Of course one of the friends hurts themselves and they ahve to take shelter for the night in a deserted inn. It's very creepy - my favorite setting is the old deserted location (you know, ghost ship, haunted houses, abandoned hospitals, etc.). The hapless, unsuspecting kiddos are sliced and diced but what's best about is you hardly ever see the killer. You see snippets of the boots, the axe, the parka, but it's like Jaws. No shark until the end. Really, this one is worth watching. It's tense, it's bloody, it's scary, it's got eye candy. The worse thing is the over-dubbing on the Watch Instantly version. The voices are bad and a bit cheesy. Definitely worth a watch - must look for the sequel.

Watch Instantly Day

I am trapped at the house today waiting on the FedEx guy so I decided to take advantage of my Roku. Horror movies on Watch Instantly all day. Whee!

Pin: Ahh, the tales of a boy and his best friend Pin, the anatomically correct medical teaching dummy. Leon and Ursula grow up with their doctor dad who uses Pin, his medical teaching dummy, to teach them the lessons of life. Trouble is, Ursula grows up and knows Pin isn't real. Leon doesn't. In fact, Pin becomes his only friend, and Pin is jealous. Pin likes the stabby and the smacky and the beaty with blunt objects. This one was creepy in a maybe I should bathe with Lysol and steel wool sort of way.

House: No, not that one. This one with Michael Madsen for about two seconds. Two couples end up with torn up tires on a back country road. They stumble upon an old country bed & breakfast that may or may not have been there before. Creepy Leslie Easterbrook is the lady of the house, and soon the young couples realize not all is right with this family. Somehow the house is using their deep, dark secrets against them. Will they survive the night? Not too bad for a straight to DVD flick but nothing really new here.

Hack!: Well, they name checked Argento in the first few minutes so I am hoping the rest goes so well. There are several actors that have a name - Juliet Landau, Danika Macellar, Justin CHou (from Twilight!?)...and the idea is okay. A group of college students go to an island to observe the wildlife as an extra credit assignment. Someone starts killing them. Horror movie in-jokes and references abound. None of the actors are terrible, it just ends up dissolving into a tongue in cheek horror movie that could have been a contender.

The Last House on the Left (remake)

I loved the original Last House on the Left. Wes Craven truly was a seriously horrific stroyteller back in the 70's and 80's. The Hills Have Eyes, Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Serpent and the Rainbow are some of my favorite horror movies. I loved the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. It didn't change much, and it felt very gritty and gross, just like the original. Luckily, the people responsible for the remake of The Last House on the Left took a page out of that book and kept the feeling, flavor, and horror of the original and made a great movie.

Mari and her parents have come up to their lake house to spend the summer, and Mari soon borrows the car to go meet her summer friend Paige to hang out and just be teenagery together. If you have ever watched a horror movie, you know this bodes not well for the two girls. They soon meet Justin, a hapless underage kid trying to buy cigarettes. The girls go back to hang out with Justin at his hotel, and unfortunately for them, Krug and the Gang show up and they are none too happy. Once the girls are tortured, raped, and sliced and diced, the gang takes refuge at Mari's lake house, where Mari's unsuspecting parents take them in during a horrible storm. Soon the parents discover just who their guests are and what they have done, and that's when the good stuff happens. Beware the parents who must fight for their child. They seek vengeance, y'all, and boy is it bloody. It's pure gore, sloppy violence. None of this insta-hero with super strength suddenly becoming Rambo. These people discover a revenge streak they never knew they had, and even thouogh they are clumsy, fall over, get beaten up, they still keep fighting. It's glorious.

I really thought the actors were excellent. Krug and the Gang (ha ha) really are creepy and Justin is such a sad character. The violence is truly horrific, although I remember the original being a bit more violent regarding the torture of the two hapless teenagers. The rape scene is awful; I couldn't watch it at all. My eyes were closed and I had my ears shut as tight as they could be. I watched the unrated version, so maybe the rated wasn't as bad. Let's just say it made my skin crawl right off. If you can get past all of that build up, all of that tension, the last half of the movie is well worth the wait. Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter exact a revenge worth watching, and I cheered as the bad guys had the tables turned on them.

If you can make it through the torture scenes, you might enjoy this one. I am glad I watched it, but I won't be watching it again. It was just too much to get through that lead up.

Rating: 4 1/2 Purrs for making me really uncomfortable and then giving me a chance to cheer for the good guys as they kick ass.

Deep Red

Dario Argento is hands down the director that got me from watching regular Americanized horror movies and into watching foreign films. Argento was my gateway drug, so to speak. Suspria was the first one I saw. Deep Red was the second, and then I was hooked. Truly, seriously hooked.

Deep Red is a giallo, full of the traditional bright red blood, the over-the-top murders, and the beautiful art direction and use of color. The story this time around is a psychic is conducting a show and in the process ends up reading the mind of a murderer. David Hemmings witnesses her murder (the brutal, bloody kind of course), and ends up getting involved with Daria Nicoldi, playing the intrepid news hound, to help solve the murder. Whose mind did the psychic read? Who killed her? Will David and Daria figure out the true story and solve the crime without getting killed?

I love the brilliant color use here. You can tell Argento was looking towards Suspiria and it’s beautiful use of color. I also can’t help but love the Edward Hopper reference there at the beginning with the “blue bar” scene. The murders and the mystery are actually pretty good. The solution is hardly telegraphed throughout the movie at all. To top it off, you have a killer Goblin soundtrack. Man I love those guys.

Dario Argento really did some of his best work at this time. Deep Red is truly a classic.

Rating: 5 Purrs for one of my favorite films. Plus you gotta love a movie that was also named The Hatchet Murders.

Horrorfest 2009 - How many horror movies can I watch? Part 4

So I skipped out last night on the movie viewing, and read a whole bunch instead. So tonight I am back on track, especially since I am off work for the next few days and I can stay up late.  Never fear, I am trying really hard to meet my sister-in-law's expectations of 25 movies while the spouse is out of town I'm on 15 now, for those who are counting). So tonight is a night of classics rather than  B-Movies. Tonight I watch the good stuff. (I don't think I have Suspiria in me tonight, but it's on the list.)

• The Shining: God, I love this movie. I remember reading the book when I was in high school and being overwhelmed with how terrifying the story was and yet also how beautiful. Kubrick takes Stephen King's vision and makes it his own without ever really losing the essence of the story that King created.  Jack Nicholson is damn frightening, the kid is so cute and creepy, and Shelly Duvall is terrified. You can tell she is totally stressed out by working with Nicholson and Kubrick. 
• Jaws: I watch this movie even if it's showing on regular TV with commercials and all the good stuff chopped out. Stephen Spielberg makes good movies, but I think this is one of his best. It seems sometimes crap happens for a reason, so I can't help but be happy that Bruce the Shark was such a pissy creature that they could only show him towards the end. It certainly makes that first appearance a shocker, even on the 100th viewing. Plus, that opening scene is downright scary, no matter how many times you watch it. Jaws did the ocean for me like Psycho did for some and showers. I still can't get in the water much more than hip deep without thinking about this film., and to me, that says perfection. That says true horror - forget all the slash, slice, dice and naked teenagers (not that I don't like watching those too of course). 

Just After Sunset by Stephen King

To be honest, I didn't think Just After Sunset was nearly as good as Everything's Eventual, Stephen King's previous short story collection, but I do love how King writes those short stories. 

I think my favorite might be The Gingerbread Girl. The main character here takes up running after a tragedy strikes her family. When I say takes up running, I mean seriously running. Like all the time until she feels like dropping dead (which I have totally felt before but that's because running is like Heaven and dying to me. It's a weird combo, I know.). Of course, this obsessive/compulsive running comes into play later in the story when she has to run with purpose. 

Otherwise, the stories all kind of ran together for me. I'm not saying they weren't good, but none of them really stood out to me like The Gingerbread Girl, except for maybe N., which channels Lovecraft (even if King says it doesn't). I love the play on obsessive/compulsive behavior in that story. 

Overall, I will always love Stephen King's ability to write short stories. It seems like a lost art form these days.  But despite that, I can't wax poetic about this collection.

Rating: 4 Purrs for The Gingerbread Girl, 3 1/2 for everything else

Horrorfest 2009 - How many horror movies can I watch? Part 2

Sunday Night' s Viewing Extravaganza:

• Blackout: Found this on on NetFlix Watch Instantly and watched it on my Roku. It's actually not that good. In fact, it got kind of icky squeamish at the end but then it was just blah. Three strangers are trapped in an elevator in a deserted apartment building with little hope of rescue. All of them have some place to be, but only one of them needs to dispose of a body. That's right, one of them is a serial killer. It's pretty obvious right off who the bad guy is going to be and it takes forever to come to a head.
• House of Wax: God, I love this movie! Giant house built out of wax, roadside attractions, icky, icky deaths, creepy twins, the list goes on. This is an awesome remake, well re-imagining really, that no matter how many times I watch it I still get spooked and cringe.
• Shaun of the Dead: Okay so this might be more of a horror comedy, but it still counts. I love these guys, plus Lucy Davis, Dylan Moran...well this is just about the best horror comedy ever.
• Land of the Dead: Keeping with the Zed word, and the Edgar Wright Simon Pegg team (cameos!), I figured I would watch Asia Argento and Simon Baker kick zombie ass. This one isn't as good as Dawn of the Dead, but I thought it was better than Diary of the Dead and Day of the Dead, especially the Day of the Dead remake (which was downright painful).
• Shark Attack 3: Megalodon: This movie is so bad is awesome. Seriously, it might be the absolute worst movie I have ever seen. Manos Hands of Fate was better. John Barrowman (Capt. Jack Harkness) is one of the harbor patrol at a Mexican resort. Big, prehistoric shark shows up and starts chomping away. When I say big shark, I mean like a great white they have forced perspective on or taken in Photoshop and stretched it so it can *swallow people on boats whole.* Like I said, this movie is so bad it is awesome.
  

Horrorfest 2009 - How many horror movies can I watch?

When my spouse decided to hit the road for a solo road trip the week of Memorial Day, I decided it was prime time to indulge in my guilty pleasure - horror movies. The good, the bad, and the way below B-quality. I wondered how many I could watch the week he was gone. One friend bet 12, my sister-in-law is betting 25. I'm curious to see which one is closest. So far, I am on movie 5 since he left mid-day on Friday. 

Here's what my viewing schedule has been so far:

• The Fog: The original, of course. John Carpenter is the king as far as cheesy 80's horror goes. Tom Atkins, Jamie Lee Curtis, and the always lovely Adrienne Barbeau take on spooky sailors who come back to seek revenge on the folks in Antonio Bay, CA who done them wrong. Synth heavy JC music, creepy fog, and lots of spooky sailor ghost action makes this one an old favorite, which in turn makes me so sad the remake sucked so badly (which doesn't matter because I own it anyway). The scene where the possessed driftwood makes the tape recorder creepy ghost voice freaks me out every time. It's downright spooky, no matter how many times I watch it. 
• Halloween (Unrated): Rob Zombie takes on a John Carpenter classic. It's no where as good as the original, and Scout Taylor Compton is in no way as good as Jamie Lee Curtis was in embodying the terrified, goody-two shoes Laurie Strode. But honestly, I loved watching Malcolm McDowell chew up the screen playing Dr. Loomis, and while I think some remakes suffer from trying to put too much background to the spooky killer, I like the young Michael Myers scenes. It almost loses my attention once Myers grows up and the teenagers get to dying. 
• The Lost Boys: I haven't watched this one in ages. I remember loving this movie in high school, quoting it endlessly, and having such a huge crush on Alex Winter. Honestly, the music hasn't aged well at all, but it's still a fun, bloody watch. The end kills are just awesome, and Keifer Sutherland is still one of the coolest vampires ever. Even with the age, the dialogue is still snappy, the blood still bloody, and it makes me miss California even more. Any movie with a grandpa that gives you taxidermied animals and kills the head honcho vamp with a truck and a fence post is up for Grandfather of the Year. 
• 28 Days Later: I haven't watched this one in forever too, so watching it was almost like watching it for the first time. I forget just how perfect this movie is, from the beautiful, haunting soundtrack, to the story, the scary infected, the actors, everything. Truly one of my favorites. Plus, Cillian Murphy is very high on my list. Argue if you must, but I am not sure I would count this as a zombie movie. I just can't make up my mind. Really, it doesn't matter. That rage virus is horrifying whether you attach the zed word to it or not. 
• 28 Weeks Later: I couldn't watch one without the other. The thing about these movies is they combine three of my favorite ideas - plague, end of civilization as we know it, and well, zombies (there, I said it). The sequel is not as good as the original, but I like how they didn't just retread like a lot of sequels do. Imogen Poots is beautiful (the sister), and I love Jeremy Renner. I'm interested to see what they do with the next one. 

Murder Party

I've been reading and watching as much as I could, but unfortunately work has been draining all of my free time and any desire to expend any extra effort on my part to do much of anything besides, work, eat, sleep.  At least I have loved the guys I am working with, so it's been fun as well as all-inclusive. Ha ha. Anyway, since the Panda prodded me saying I hadn't posted in for-freaking-ever, I am going to sit down and write a post about the movie I just watched - Murder Party. Work be damned! 

I read about Murder Party ages ago when it received some Slamdance Movie award and I thought it sounded like a fun, goofy, gory horror flick, which naturally is right up my alley. I was right. It was hilarious. Now I say that with the caveat that Murder Party is no Shaun of the Dead (I know, I know, I always say that.) , but it was a funny little indie movie for sure.

In Murder Party, Christopher, a lonely traffic cop, picks up an invite to a "murder party" on Halloween night. He builds himself the most awesome knight costume ever out of cardboard and duct tape (it's like the Knights Who Say Ni) and heads out, only to find an old warehouse in a scary part of town and a group of New York Art Scene artists who want to impress a local art king, Alexander. Chris hands them pumpkin bread; they try to murder him. You see, they want to get it all on tape as an "art piece" to impress Alex. It's like this black, black comedy poking all sorts of fun at the "art scene,"  indie films, so much. 

Murder Party is like Drop Dead Gorgeous mixed with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's low budget, but that works for it rather than against it, because unlike most low-budget horror, these folks can act somewhat well and the movie has a bit of a plot and good dialogue.

If you like the horror comedy genre, Murder Party is worth a rental. I won't buy it, but I am glad I moved it higher up in my NetFlix queue. 

Horror Classics Remade: Friday the 13th, The Uninvited, and My Bloody Valentine

I couldn't have been happier to hear they were remaking My Bloody Valentine, A Tale of Two Sisters, and Friday the 13th. Well, maybe I was less excited about Friday the 13th, since it's probably my top 1 or 2 in my list of favorites, but I was really interested to see what they would do the TofTS and My Bloody Valentine.

My Bloody Valentine: In 3-D! I really liked the original because it felt so real. The people cast in the film actually looked like people who would live and work in a mining town (think less WB Dawson's Creek and more like Norma Rae), the mine and other settings were spooky, and there was plenty of good old killings. The remake has the added bonus of being in 3-D, so it was extra fun to watch with the pick-axes swinging out at you and the like. The cast was prettier this time around (Gotta drool on Jensen Ackles. Delish.), but filming in Pennsylvania certainly gave it the mining town feel. The remake was bloody and gory, with some good shocks. The story was pretty close to the original, with enough deviations to make it worth remaking, but not enough to make it feel like a completely different film. I am not really sure I liked the ending, but well, it could be that I am partial...

Rating:  4 1/2 Purrs Loved it!

The Uninvited: This remake of A Tale of Two Sisters was a big old disappointment. The original blew me away, with high levels of creepiness, a twisted plot, and a holy shit did that just happen ending. The Uninvited brought nothing really new to the table, but the actors were good and the setting was beautiful. Elizabeth Banks brings a nice amount of creepiness to the wicked step-mother role. I probably would have liked it better if I had no idea what was going on, so the twists would have been less obvious to me. 

Rating: 3 1/2 Purrs - I probably would have liked it better if I hadn't seen the original. 

Friday the 13th: Let's just say that even Jared Padalecki couldn't save this movie. It's like they took the original 4 in the series and squished them all into one film, so basically any plot or minimal character development on any of the "extra" characters is lost. Plus, how do you have a Friday the 13th movie with minimal time at the freakin' Camp Crystal Lake? Jason was good, but really, why do all of the characters around the lake have to be rejects from the hillbillies-r-us casting agency? I am glad they didn't just reshoot the movie almost shot for shot from the original, but I really liked the "camp counselors at the camp" enties in the series. Why deviate from the tradition so soon? Wait for the sequels at least, and stick to the original formula for the first in the reboot. You can bring something new to the table without ignoring what made the original so great. 

Rating: 3 1/2 Purrs...Man, I wish I could reboot this reboot. 

April Fool’s Day (remake)

April Fools Day is hands-down one of my favorite 80's slasher films. It stars Deborah Foreman and Amy Steel, two of my favorite horror actresses (plus who can forget Deborah Foreman's memorable scene in Real Genius? Not I.) I rented the "remake" of AFD knowing it would in no way meet my expectations, but I guess I am just a glutton for punishment because this was way beyond bad.

This new version of April Fool's Day has none of the spirit of the original. The whole film is shot on video and has that shiny, crisp feel. The characters aren't interesting or sympathetic, and none of the actors are half as good as the originals. Scout Taylor Compton isn't nearly as good as Amy Steel. There really isn't anything about this movie that makes it worth watching, from its silly prank to death beginning to the twist ending that's not even close to a twist. This time around it's not a murder mystery weekend set up, it's a killer back to avenge the accidental death of a friend a year before set up. Even the deaths are so choreographed you can see them coming a mile away.

I don't know how this even got made, but I can tell why it went straight to video. I have seen Sci-Fi Channel Originals starring Casper van Dien that were more entertaining than this.

Rating: Hiss Hiss Hiss. This just makes me sad that they even tarnished the original by pretending this was a remake.