The Raid: Redemption

Let's just say this right up front. The Raid is hands down one of the most violent movies I think I have seen. There are machetes. There are machine guns. There is hand to hand combat. Non stop from almost the first five minutes, it's blood, explosions, and guts until the last few minutes of the film. I think the credits may have run longer than violence-free minutes in this movie. All that being said, I loved every blood-soaked second of it.

The plot of The Raid is pretty straight forward. In Jakarta, a run down apartment building is held in tight control by a ruthless drug lord. The police, other gangsters, no one enters willingly. Until an elite SWAT team enters under the cover of darkness to take out the drug lord and bring him to justice. Unfortunately, they have to make it up several floors of gangsters under his control, all very willing to kill, maim, and torture to protect their leader. You follow the exploits of our hero, whose wife is at home pregnant with their first son, as he fights his way to the top of the building, following an agenda of his own.

If this sounds familiar, you would be right. From the sound of it, DREDD borrowed heavily from this same idea. As you would expect, The Raid was more raw, less stylized. More martial arts and bright red blood squibs. DREDD used the same idea - slum apartment building held in sway by a ruthless drug lord, fighting up flights of stairs to the big boss. Really though, they are two very different movies, enjoyable in their own right.

The Raid: Redemption is a movie to watch if you love gritty, dirty, bloody fight movies. Seriously, so in to it expecting a whole lot of violence and not a whole lot of plot and you will be very happy.

Rating: 4 Purrrs for a blood-soaked jubilee of fun times

DREDD 3D

To be completely forthcoming, I really liked the Stallone Judge Dredd. I did. I'll admit it. I didn't mind the "I am the law"s or Rob Schneider, even as annoying as he was. Because I like comic book movies, even if they are horrible. What can I say?

DREDD on the other hand, was not a horrible comic book movie. DREDD was a Karl Urban kick your face off and you say thank you sort of movie. I loved it, even in 3D, which i normally attempt to avoid at all costs.  

DREDD sticks to the story you know . It's the future and society is run by all sorts of bad folks. The good people hide and struggle while the gangs and criminals run the streets. Enter the Judges - the new police force who are enforcer, judge, jury, and executioner all in one. They have the ability to enforce the law and pass down a sentence in the streets, removing the need for a lengthy trial and jury process. (Gotta love cost saving measures that take away civil liberties, yo.) Karl Urban is Judge Dredd, who is sent out for the day with a rookie Judge, Cassandra Anderson (Olivia Thirby). It's her field test, and one mistake can cost her her badge and her future as a judge. As these things go, the two Judges are called to Peachtree tower to investigate a murder, only to stumble upon something even bigger - Ma-Ma (Lena Headley) , her ruthless gang of miscreants, and the center of the trade of a new, very popular drug called Slo-Mo. When Ma-Ma decides it would be easier to just kill the two of them than deal with the possibility of arrest, she locks down the tower, trapping the Judges in with innocent people and her gang members, who will stop at nothing to keep them from leaving the building alive, no matter what it takes.

What I liked:

• Karl Urban played Dredd without campiness, and we know how easy that part can spiral in to camp. 
• Lena Headley as Ma-Ma. Of course I could watch her read a phone book and I would be happy, but she was ruthless and ugly and cold - so much of what I don't associate with her. It was a nice change. 
• The setting: Locking them in to this tower made the action and plot more tense and concise. It kept the audience from having to take in too much of the outside world. You could concentrate on the fact that this building exists rather than having to deal with a whole futuristic world. It really ratcheted up the tension and action. 

What was meh:

• Almost too many Slo-Mo scenes. It was cool seeing everything bright and glittery like they did, especially during an explosion scene. They played really nicely in 3D, but I saw one more I would have been bored. 
•  Olivia Thirby - I haven't seen her before really, so I don't have anything to really compare her to. She was a little blank at first, but warmed up in the end. She's really borderline to me. I could see other people playing the part, but not any one in particular. It's just that sort of part I guess. 

I'm glad we saw it in 3D, and I'm glad we caught it in the theater instead of waiting to watch it at home. I'm kind of a gotta see action on the big screen sort of gal, and this one was well worth it, instead of say, the Total Recall remake. This one was much, much better than that.

Rating: 4 1/2 Purrrs. Ma-Ma is not the law. I am the law.

Avatar

"I'm probably just talking to a tree right now..."

Really, that sums it up. Avatar is Ferngully with really nifty computer animation. Everyone is cardboard. The hero is heroic, the anthropologist is a tree hugger, and the big company and big army evil doers are well, evil.

Yeah, the plot, is all about your stereotypical big bad company finding an untouched, misunderstood wilderness and looking for ways to exploit it. If that means running out and massacring all of the locals by making them out to be savages, well even better. My favorite part was when the bad guy runs out into the unbreathable atmosphere without his oxygen mask to shoot the tree huggers and HOLDS HIS BREATH. Oh, and the slow motion action scenes. Let's not forget when the whole end of the movie was telegraphed, um, from the minute she talked about the legend of the Braveheart guy who brought all of the clans together.

Don't get me wrong. The CGI is amazing, if you can get past the fact that it glows like a velvet Elvis painting under a blacklight. But really, even bells and whistles do not a Oscar winner make. Thank god. Because let's face it, The Hurt Locker- that had action, character development, visuals that made your blood chill, and enough tension that I couldn't keep my hands unclenched. Oh yeah, AND it had a point to make too, Mr. Cameron, without beating me over the head with it.

Rating: Bah. It's no wonder there's a RiffTrax. It's the only way I will watch this again.
- Posted using BlogPress from Bruce

Location:On my couch in the she-cave

The Losers

"Did you know that cats can make one thousand different sounds and dogs can only make ten? Cats, man. Not to be trusted. " - Jenson

I loved The Losers. I loved every second of the cheesy 80's action movie-ness of it. The one-liners, the explosions, the gun fire, the hot chick...Jeffery Dean Morgan (yum), Chris Evans (yum), Zoe Saldana (yum). Really, what's not to like?

It's a movie that never takes itself too seriously. I laughed out loud. I loved the explosions. I don't know why more people didn't see it, but you should have.

Clash of the Titans (remake)

What can I say about Clash of the Titans? Hmm...What to say...What to say...

1. They took out pretty much every shred of mythology from the original. All that stuff about Kalabos, Thetis, Poseidon, Zeus ruling the gods and goddesses with an iron fist, the gifts from the goddesses, the origins of Perseus, all of that - out. You see Zeus and Hades, but that's it. All of the others there on Mt. Olympus are pretty much window dressing to Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes munching on the screen.
2. Perseus wants to be a *man* not a *god.* He whines like Luke Skywalker throughout the entire movie about how he wants to do the whole journey to Medusa as a *man* despite the many good men dying around him because he is stubborn.
3. Io - WTF? I guess Andromeda wasn't warrior-chick enough to be in this movie but for more than a second.
   
4. Man, I miss Ray Harryhausen's special effects. CGI just doesn't give the right feel to what this movie could have been.
5. Oh no, you did not just throw Bubo back into the trunk. He's a gift from Athena dude. You don't just cast off a gift from Athena.
   

I wasn't looking for a retread. I knew that Harryhausen wouldn't be there and that there would be mostly big-bada-booms, but I was very disappointed that they stripped so much of the mythology out. That's what the freaking Clash of the Titans is about, dang it. I admit, I clapped when Neeson said "Release the Kraken!" and when Bubo did show up for all of two seconds.

What this movie needed: more Bubo! More clashing and less "no we are men, not Gods! I will fight as one" and "but I was going into Tatchi for power converters" blah blah. Of course if you remove those feelings from the equation and just see it for what it is, a big CGI action fest, well, it's not so bad.

Rating: 3 1/2 Purrs because there was a Kraken, after all

2012

"When they tell you not to panic, that's when you run!"

I love disaster movies. I have the remake of The Poseidon Adventure on DVD. I've seen the TV version and Beyond The Poseidon Adventure. The Day After Tomorrow? Check. The Towering Inferno? Check. Earthquake? Check. The Airport movies? Yep. Now these movies are usually bad, but they are also so bad they are good. 2012, well, it cries for a RiffTrax.

My biggest problem with 2012 is the fact that it plays the standard Roland Emmerich does disaster movies playbook the whole way. (You know, secret science stuff, no one believes the truth, montages of random characters that no one cares about really because they are cardboard stereotypes, epic sweeps of far away countries also affected by the disaster accompanied by sweeping music, lots and lots of explosions and CGI.) It opens with some scientists finding out some really, really bad news. They rush to tell the politicians, and then secret stuff starts to happen. Fast forward a bit. The bad stuff starts to happen for real. John Cusack stumbles upon it, the everyman with the troubled family life, and then proceeds to run like crazy, everyone yelling a whole lot because everything is.so.very.important. Will they survive? The fact is it's very hard to care because they just don't create any sympathy with the viewer. They are so cardboard you just don't care. You even get the "Today is our Independence Day!" speech. Wait, twice!

Okay, well so what's good? The initial John Cusack grabs the family and races California crashing into the ocean in a limo was pretty damn hilarious and yet awesome at the same time. I imagine seeing it on the gigantic screen would have been fun, even if it was super heavy on the CGI. I actually laughed out loud. The number of times they escape disaster by the skin of their teeth is so many I lost count. It gets to be ridiculous way too fast. A character actually says, "Oh God, not again." I agree.

Maybe 2012 isn't so bad. Or maybe it's so bad it's good, if you can get past the awful, awful heavy-handed hammy acting. I don't really know yet. I might have to watch it again to tell for sure. But I will definitely skip the credits. One can only take that song once.

Rating: I'm not even sure. 3ish Purrs, maybe?

The Mutant Chronicles

I rented The Mutant Chronicles from NetFlix, mostly because I love Thomas Jane in just about anything. I'm not sure I can forgive him this one though. This one felt more like a straight to SyFy (why oh why change your name why?) flick, not even a straight to DVD flick. It was that bad.

In some weird steampunk 1910 type universe, there are 4 corporations. They fight each other using trench warfare. A hole opens up and the mutants come out, slashing in lovely CGI gore. (by lovely I mean BAD. Really bad.) The world is lost (oh no!) and the Fellowship of the Ring must take the one ring to Mordor...wait wrong movie. A rag tag group of super fighters from the various corporations must band together to blow up the machine and save the planet. I know, it is as silly as it sounds.

What seemed somewhat interesting at first only heads pretty much straight into boring, oh-my-god seriously territory very quickly. The idea of a steampunk type world based on WWI rather than the Victorian Age could have been really interesting. In fact it held my attention here and there. Unfortunately the painful acting, awful plot, and ridiculous John Malkovich cameo just killed it. Oh and the, really that's the end ending. That too. I knew the minute the camera panned up to a red-clocked figure and I saw it was Ron Perlman that this movie was doomed. I like Ron Perlman, but with a fake accent and missing his HellBoy make-up, well, it just didn't seem right.

I really wouldn't recommend this one even to die-hard sci-fi fans. It's just too painful. And I like goofy sci-fi movies. Shut off the DVD player and read some Philip K Dick instead.

Rating: Hiss. Hiss I say!

Severance Package by Duane Swierczynski

Severance Package by Duane Swierczynski (besides having the hardest name ever in the world to type) is another one of those Quality Paperback Book club books that I bought on a whim, and after losing my job a couple of months ago, found even funnier and more full of black comedy than maybe if I were still working. It was truly an enjoyable book - dark, bloody, funny, and so, so satirical it almost burns like razor burn.

One hot Saturday in August, the boss has called in his key personnel into the office for a 9 AM meeting. No one knows why, least of all Jamie Debroux, who has been out the last month on paternity leave. After all, he's not really part of the inner circle; he's just a press writer. When he shows up, the conference room is stocked full of cookies, orange juice, and champagne, and the Knox, the boss, announces something very unexpected. It seems the business is a front for the intelligence community, and they are being shut down. In intelligence-speak, that means everybody has to die. They can choose to drink the mimosas and die quietly, or get a bullet in the head. Naturally, all hell breaks lose, because well, Jamie was in the dark, but not everyone else was. It's a fight to the death, with the clique making more alliances than a season of Prison Break, and no one knowing who to trust. Will Jamie survive to see his family again? You have to read to find out.

Like I said, it's very fun. Think film noir crossed with The Bourne Identity and Quentin Tarantino. It's bloody, characters are simply drawn but end up not being who you thought they were when you first meet them, and it's fairly tightly written. Overall, I would recommend it. It's not brilliant piece of literature, but it's higher on the scale than a worthwhile beach read.

Rating: 4 Purrs for a fast, page turning read. I read this puppy in maybe 8 hours.

Live action Cowboy Bebop? Wha?

So Keanu Reeves spilled the beans supposedly.

http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00020675.html

I can't decide if I am overly excited or scared. I srsly love Cowboy Bebop. Keanu Reeves might not be too bad. After all Spike is kind of laid back, but can still kick ass. Keanu kicked ass in The Matrix. It could work.

No, the real question is, who will play Faye...

And will there be a Corgi...'cause go Data Dogs!

World War Z!!!!!!!!! Why did I not know about this???

The guy who headed up Quantum of Solace (while I thought it was good...not great), is also in charge of the movie adaptation of World War Z, one of my favorite books of the past year. If you haven't read the book, shame on you. It's more than just a zombie novel. It's a biting commentary on the world we live in and amazingly written. It actually brought me to tears in some parts.

But anyway, he says it's going to be huge - a huge scale. Which makes me so f*ckin' happy I want to puke. Like Bourne Identity meets zombies. Which could be really awesome or like House of the Dead. Which could be not so awesome but still watchable because I love/hated House of the Dead.

MTV movies has the comments.

Speed Racer

I went into watching Speed Racer not expecting much, and I got what I expected. Now that may sound like I didn't like it, which is completely not true. I *loved* Speed Racer. I loved everything about it. From the loud, candy colored art design, to the outrageously silly story, to Emile Hirsh and Christina Ricci, I loved this movie. It helps that I also loved the original cartoon series; Speed Racer was my first real crush, and seeing him again in action just made me smile a whole heck of a lot.

So the story is all about Speed and his family. From a young age, Speed has been obsessed with cars and racing. Part of this is probably a because of hero worship, since his brother and his whole family is also obsessed with racing. In the opening, Speed is racing the same car race where his brother died, and later is offered a job racing with a big conglomerate.  Speed turns the job down, and of course must then fight the big machine. Will he win the big final race? Who is Racer X? Will Speed and Trixie *ever* kiss?

Everything about this movie is popcorn. The art design in this is all bright colors and video games. It's pure carnival. Everyone plays their parts well - John Goodman as Papa Racer, Susan Sarandon as Momma Racer, Emile Hirsch as Speed, Christina Ricci as Trixie, and Matthew Fox as (who has the perfect profile for) Racer X. Everything about this film was over the top, and while it is mostly just a light, frothy confection, there is a nice moral to the silly, comic story. Speed sees the value in being true to one's self, the value of family, and the fact that no matter how great you are, there are others who are there to catch you and help you.

Trust me, this movie isn't deep by any means, but I didn't go into a movie called Speed Racer expecting Oscar material. I expected silly fun and I got it.

We are going to need a bigger boat.

Steve has been watching this series from the BBC (I think) called Planet Earth. He also knows that while Jaws is one of my all time favorite films, it is one of my favorites because I have a terrifying fear of sharks. Big ones, small ones, I don't care. My hands get clammy just thinking about sharks, which sucks, because I do happen to have a serious love of the ocean. So just think of me, on the beach in Mexico or wherever, fully fortified with alcoholic beverages, saying to myself, there are no sharks, there are no sharks, and then remembering this video.

You Tube video of a Great White


Bastard.

Buffy & The Doctor: The Comics

Buffy Season 8 and the Doctor Who comics (Go comic version of David Tennant!) have become my new favorite comics. I've tried to read a few TV or movie based comics, but none really seemed to capture the essence, the joy of why I watched the TV show or movie in the first place. Buffy Season 8 and Doctor Who somehow have.

Somehow, Joss and team have given me more Buffy when I thought I had none. I loved the show, and I didn't really think they would be able to reasonably continue the story lines in comic form, nor did I think I would like it. I figured I would read a few issues and then say never mind, the soul is missing, the art isn't that great, etc. Man, was I wrong. I love the new story lines. The new season gave some space between the series finale and this new set of stories, so it was easier to remove myself into this new Buffy world, all while continuing with familiar characters I know and love. The dialog in the comic is still Whedon-esque, so much so that I can hear the snappiness and almost hear the actors' voices. The art captures the familiar glances and nuances of the Scoobies.

The Doctor Who comics have many of the same pluses - even though the Doctor's companion is Martha (not my favorite). The art, at least for the first few issues, was perfect to capture the goofiness and occasional darkness of the Doctor Who story lines. The artist also does a good job of capturing some of those really goofball expressions that make David Tennant my favorite Doctor. (I'm not a real fan of the artist in the 4-6 issues. It just doesn't feel the same.) The stories feel like mini episodes, which is what I am looking for. The dialog has the same feel as the Buffy comics do - it's enough like the TV show to make me feel like I am reading what I obsessively watch on my DVR and DVDs.

Buffy and Doctor Who are two of my favorite comics to watch for in my pull pile from Titan, and man, every time I see a new one I really have to make myself not clap in front of the other comic book geeks. But hey, if you can't clap with glee over a new comic while standing next to a giant Hulk statue and not be embarrassed, where can you?

Rating: 5 Purrs - I love my Buffy and Doctor - don't even ask to borrow them . Get your own.

Shoot'em Up

“I’m a British nanny, and I'm dangerous.”

Never has a movie been so aptly named. Shoot’em Up is pretty much that – a shoot’em up game brought to the big screen. It’s really a very silly movie – I don’t know how they got Clive Owen and Monica Belluci to sign on for this flick.

One night, a down-on-his luck looking guy (Clive Owen) is just minding his own business when a very pregnant lady comes running by, followed by a guy with a gun very intent on whacking her. Cue the homeless looking guy ending up kicking ass and helping deliver the baby, but unfortunately, now he’s stuck with it and is on the run from the baddies. Luckily, he knows a lactating hooker (Monica Belluci), and soon they are all on the run. Why do these bad guys want the baby dead? What do heavy metal music, a gun factory, and politics have to do with it all?

Really, this movie is quite ridiculous. It feels very comic book and video game-ish, but not in a good way. It was better than Crank, by far, but just a tad too silly for my tastes. But since I love Clive Owen and Monica Belluci, I had to rent it. It was funny and it was bad. Sometimes that is a good combination but other times, it’s just plain not.

Rating: 3 Purrs, cause I just can’t give a hiss to a movie with Clive Owen and a lactating hooker called DQ (who ends up working at a sort of Dairy Queen) in it

Recent Acquisitions to the Library

I just love Half-Price Books and their 20% off sale.

• The Kraken Wakes by John Wyndham
  
• Brimstone (Pendergast, Book 5) by Douglas Preston
  
• Dance of Death by Douglas Preston
  
• Dark Angels: A Novel by Karleen Koen
  
• Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
• Bleak House by Charles Dickens
• Loving Frank: A Novel by Nancy Horan
  
• Diamonds Are Forever, You Only Live Twice, Thunderball, On Her Majesty's Secret Service by Ian Fleming
• The Mystery of Edwin Drood and Other Stories by Charles Dickens
  
• The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
• Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
  
• Still Life with Crows (Pendergast, Book 4) by Douglas Preston
  
• A Pickpocket's Tale: The Underworld of Nineteenth-Century New York by Timothy J. Gilfoyle
  
• Collected Poems 1947-1997 by Allen Ginsberg
  

Cloverfield

 “What is that?”

“It’s a terrible thing.”

“Oh my god what is what?”

“I don’t know! Something else! Also terrible.”

Cloverfield’s viral marketing campaign pretty much passed right by me so I think I saw the movie with a set of completely untarnished set of eyes. I also saw it way back in the theater, in what, January, and am just now getting around to posting this. (Call me lazy. It's okay. I know.) I avoided as much about the movie as I could so I could see it with no real expectations other than the completely random images in the trailer. I think that’s what made the movie so enjoyable for me.

 Cloverfield tells the story a small group of New Yorkers who, while having a going away party for a friend, are thrust into a life-or-death situation. Something is attacking the city and no one knows what it is.  These friends are thrust into trying to survive, get out of the city, and save the life of the love interest. All of this told through recovered videotape, and thus is told with a fair amount of shaky camera scenery.

I adored Cloverfield. It was a movie that even my husband (who hates monster movies, horror movies, pretty much anything I lap up with a spoon like it's carrot cake soup) loved.  I loved that it was a monster movie, and a terribly scary one at that, but I loved that it had even more going for it.  I loved the weird, gigantic monster out of nowhere. I love that no one knows what is going on. I love that no one explains and no one is safe. I loved the unknown, the terror, the real scary-ass, holy shit, what just happened situations.  I loved the commentary on contemporary history, the post-911 world New Yorkers and the rest of us. I loved the use of the camera as character and narrator.  The actors were relatively unknown, which made it much easier to see the characters as involved in the story rather than as “Mel Gibson” or “Tom Cruise.”

The only thing I didn’t care for was the vertigo. Other than that, I loved this movie.  Loved.  Loved it like take her home to your momma and say you are going to marry her loved it. In fact, we might be sending out invitations any time now. (Next Tuesday when the DVD comes out I am sure.) But I have heard, the best way to see it is without a whole lot of expectations or guesses about the story. Just go in for a good, scary monster movie.

Rating: 5 Stars for a near perfect film going experience. I loved this movie, but from what I have heard, it’s either a love it or hate it type of thing.

 

DOA: Dead or Alive

“You can have him. But what about the other 300?”

I rented DOA: Dead or Alive because I can’t help but love Jamie Pressley. I’ve followed her career every since that god-awful and yet somehow impossible to turn off Poison Ivy sequel. She’s gorgeous, funny, and sexy-as-hell. What’s not to like? So when I saw that she, along with some other nice-to-look-at ladies were teaming up in a martial arts film that looks like a ladies Mortal Kombat, I snatched this puppy up in my NetFlix queue and put it right up there at the top.

 In the opening montage of DOA, a group of the best women fighters are challenged and invited to the ultimate martial arts contest – DOA.  These amazing ladies each have a specialized skill, including Christie Allen, a jewel thief who really wants what is in the island’s safe, Tina Armstrong (woot Jamie!), a pro-wrestler who wants to prove she isn’t a fake, Helena Douglas, the daughter of the creator of DOA who wants to honor her father’s memory, and Kasumi, a Ninja princess who has been exiled from her clan so that she might find what happened to her brother, who left the year before to fight in DOA. Off these ladies go to the private island where the tournament takes place. After being told to jump out of the place and make their way to the main fighting location and actually enter the tournament. All of the fighters are put into a pool and pitted against each other where they must knock out their opponents or be sent home. As the usual story goes these ladies fight each other but soon learn to depend on each other when an even greater evil is unearthed. The tournament’s master Donovan is up to something, and the only way good can win is if these ladies can start to work together instead of fight each other.

This movie is fun. Period. The story is silly, of course, but the scenery is nice. The martial arts are fun while not nearly as “true” as a Jackie Chan or Stephen Chow movie. There is this one scene in the film that is hilarious – two of the ladies end up sharing a room together later in the film and one of the girl’s Dad walks in (they are scheduled to fight). The exchange there is priceless. So funny.

I’ve never played the video game DOA was based on, so I have no idea how good of a “video game” movie it is, but as a fun Mortal Kombat flick it rates highly in my book. It’s funny, it has some nice fight scenes, and it’s nice a short. It never takes itself seriously. I’m seriously considering picking it up at the used DVD store just so I can watch it again for a laugh or two. 

Rating: 4 Purrs for the ladies. That fight scene in the rain was very nice.

 

HEY, INTERNET, STOP BEING SUCH CYNICAL EFFING DOUCHEBAGS BLOG-A-THON!

So one of my favorite blogs in the world to read is Final Girl, and she put the call out -

One day, and one day only: Tuesday, March 18.
You: write about something in the world of film that fills you with complete and total unbridled fucking retarded JOY.

So how can I ignore that? The problem I find is picking out just one thing to write about that fills me with stupid, toe-wiggling joy when it comes to movies. It's like someone asking me to pick just *one* favorite movie or just *one* favorite book. So to take the easy way out, I'll list a few joy inducing items here.

Movies I will watch anytime, anyplace, always, as many times as I can.

I have a few movies I will watch pretty much anytime they show up on my satellite. These movies are the ones I pull out of my DVD boxes most often. My husband groans every time one of these comes on because he's the type that will watch a movie once and be done with it. I'll watch JAWS anytime it's on TV. I'll watch it on DVD. I'll watch it edited and dubbed. When Roy Schneider sees the shark for the first time and says, "We're gonna need a bigger boat," I actually clap my hands with joy. I love the Die Hard trilogy (or quadrology now I suppose). "Now I know what a TV dinner feels like." Awesome. Anytime it's on TV. Halloween. Friday the 13th (I mean, hello - sexy vegetarian chick and creepy ass crazy Momma). Agatha Christie adaptations especially those with Peter Ustinov. (Those lead into my obsession with old people solve crimes media like Murder, She Wrote and Matlock.) The list goes on...

Italian Giallo

When I started college a friend introduced me to Dario Argento. I watched Suspiria and there was no turning back. Ever since NetFlix (another thing I love - access to movies I never would find on shelves at the Evil Empire) was founded and I joined I have watched every single Giallo I can find. I love the so very ultra-mod Seventies fashions, the badly filmed sex scenes, the mystery, the fake red blood, the overall silliness of them all.

Night of the Comet

If I had to pick just one movie. Just one to take with me on a deserted island with a TV and DVD player of course, it would be Night of the Comet. I anticipated the DVD release for this movie like Star Wars geeks foamed at the mouth for the new trilogy. Valley girls are the last people on earth after a comet wipes out the other folks in sunny CA. All that's left are these chicks and some zombies. "Daddy would have gotten us UZIs." Awesome. This is the movie I insist on people watching over and over. Plus - Zombies! Catherine Mary Stewart! UZIs! Shopping Malls!

Roger Corman Movies

Rock-n-Roll High School. Pirahna. Humanoids from the Deep. P.J. Soles. The Ramones. Riff Randall! Angry puppet fish! Lumberjack Man and his little blond daughter. Perky insurance investigators! Barbara Steele! Doug McClure! Slimy fish monsters impregnating women! The Alien-like fish birth! "Terror! Horror! Death! Film at Eleven."

My Current Favorite - Black Sheep

I read about this movie in Entertainment Weekly and saw "were-sheep." I said to myself, I must have this movie. I must see it now. And I finally did. Lamb jokes. Mint sauce, vegan animal rights activists. Special effects by the folks who did Lord of the Rings. Were-sheep.

"You hear that? Sounds like someone is sheering."

Oh man, I am smiling with joy just thinking about it. Black Sheep - It had me at "were-sheep."

I'll stop now cause I could go on. For hours. Just remember - were-sheep, angry puppet fish, feeling like a TV dinner, and those sexxxxy mod 7's fashions. Things that fill me with joy.

Lucky Number Slevin

"What's a Kansas City Shuffle?”

We rented Lucky Number Slevin because a large chunk of our friends told us it was a great movie. I wouldn’t say it was a great movie, but it was a fun hour and a half.

Josh Harnett is Slevin Kelevra. He’s on a trip to NewYork to see a friend, and on the way to his friend’s apartment he’s mugged. That is pretty much just a bad start to a really bad weekend for Slevin. His friend is gone and Slevin is mistaken for him by a couple of very irritated mobsters. It wouldn’t be a problem except that his pal owes a mob boss a whole lot of cash, and of course Slevin can’t pay it. To keep his life, Slevin is coerced into an agreement to kill the rival mob boss’s gay son. Mayhem ensues while the cops get involved and Mr. Goodkat (Bruce Willis) starts playing both sides of the mob.

The dialog is snappy and there are plenty of twists and turns in the plot to keep you guessing on who is screwing over whom. Josh Hartnett and Lucy Liu play with the dialog quite well, bouncing lines off of each other like the old black and whites with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. (I’m not saying they are on par with those two, but the feeling is similar.) The characters are larger than life and suit the plot. What I can’t figure out is why the characters keep eating sandwiches. Maybe if I had listened to the commentary, I would know why.

It’s a clever film, but it wasn’t as clever as some like the snappy dialog in Quentin Tarantino films. It’s a fun ride with equal parts gun play, romance, and chemistry. If you like that sort of thing, think a little darker version of The Whole Nine Yards, you’ll like Lucky Number Slevin.

Rating: 4 ½ Purrs

Grindhouse: Planet Terror & Death Proof

I love Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, and I will pretty much see anything they make. The idea of Grindhouse made me wiggle my toes I was so happy, and unlike a lot of other people, I was toe-wiggling happy with how it all turned out.

Grindhouse is a great tribute to the old exploitation movies of the 60’s and 70’s. It starts up with a couple of grainy trailers, which I just loved (and to be honest I can’t remember them all now). Enter then Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez’s installment. What more could you want- poison gas, flesh-eating zombies, strippers, and machine guns? After a gas is accidentally released near a military base in Texas, people start turning into crazed, brain-eating zombies. An rag-tag group of people, Cherry Darling, a local pole dancer, her boyfriend mechanic, the sheriff (Michael Biehn – woot!), a crazy doctor, his assistant wife (who has Fergie as a lover, thank you), and a group of others have to fight off the zombies, crazy military men, and all the rest to get to safety. I can’t even list how many familiar faces are in this movie: Marley Shelton, Michael Biehn, Rose MacGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Fergie from the Black-Eyed Peas, Tom Savini, and more. It’s awesome. Of course, I love zombies, so naturally I would love this half of the Grindhouse.

After a few more trailers, we get to see Quentin Tarantino’s half: Death Proof. Here, Kurt Russell plays a crazed stunt man who has a special car, a “death proof” car. He has an affinity for pretty girls, which he likes to dispatch via stunt car driving. He’s a bit kooky and over the top. Soon he meets a group of ladies who won’t take his crazy and dangerous driving lying down. They fight back, and that’s where the great car chases and action begins. It’s fun with some really awesome car chases and stunts. Zoe Bell is not a great actress, but you can tell she’s pretty excited to be doing what she is doing.

Overall, Grindhouse is everything I could have hoped it would be. Unfortunately, I had to buy 2 different DVDs to get the movies, and they are missing all of the very funny trailers that accompanied the movies the first time around. Each film has the touches of their directors, but neither one is at their best. Grindhouse isn’t for everyone, but if you like the nostalgia idea, see it for the fun.

Rating: 4 1/2 Purrs for well, everything. I mean zombies and chicks driving stunt cars. Come on!